¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever felt that painting takes too much time and effort?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-03-26 964

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It takes a lot of time and effort for all art, whether it's music or art.
As I said yesterday, I woke up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.
In fact, art was a good choice because sound does not harm others like music.
The work of drawing has been interesting for several months and all the members who worked with me have worked hard.
But as time passed, the members disappeared one by one, and I ended up alone.
At first, I could see my growth clearly through the picture.
After 6 months or so, I was continuing to paint a similar level.
I felt that raising my level one step required too much time and effort.
I thought that the reason why the members gave up art one by one was because of the same thoughts as me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, your writing beautifully captures the struggle of learning and the emotions that come with it. Additionally, your response was well-structured and conveyed a clear reflection on your artistic journey. Your ideas were easy to follow, but there were a few grammar adjustments needed for smoother readability. Pay close attention to word choices and sentence flow, especially when comparing concepts. I added more details to expand on your thoughts and included encouragement to remind you that hitting a plateau doesn¡¯t mean stopping. It means you¡¯re on the verge of a breakthrough. Great effort! Keep going, and remember that every great artist has felt this way at some point. 

~ T. Lia

It takes a lot of time and effort for all art, whether it's music or art.
>> It takes a lot of time and effort for all forms of art, whether it's music or visual art.

As I said yesterday, I woke up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.
>> As I said yesterday, I used to wake up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.

In fact, art was a good choice because sound does not harm others like music.
>> In fact, art was a good choice because, unlike music, it does not produce sound that could disturb others.

The work of drawing has been interesting for several months and all the members who worked with me have worked hard.
>> Drawing has been interesting for several months, and all the members who worked with me put in a lot of effort.

But as time passed, the members disappeared one by one, and I ended up alone.
>> However, as time passed, the members left one by one, and I ended up alone.

At first, I could see my growth clearly through the picture.
>> At first, I could see my progress clearly through my drawings.

After 6 months or so, I was continuing to paint a similar level.
>> After about six months, I found myself painting at a similar level.

I felt that raising my level one step required too much time and effort.
>> CORRECT

I thought that the reason why the members gave up art one by one was because of the same thoughts as me.
>> I thought the reason the members gave up art one by one was that they had the same thoughts as I did.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144908 expert ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 1
144907 Problem solving ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 329
144906 Do you enjoy hobbies that challenge you mentally, like puzzles... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 3
144905 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 347
144904 What are your thoughts on couples going Dutch? ¼Õ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 5
144903 Can you be friends with someone very different from you? Why or... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 315
144902 What¡¯s more important for a manager: experience or education? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 0
144901 Can you think of a time when your morale was very high? What... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 0
144900 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 362
144899 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 1
144898 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 356
144897 a birthday present ¹Î*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 2
144896 The homework for 2nd July. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 336
144895 I want to receive various kinds of rice cakes. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 318
144894 Do you believe in palm reading, or other forms of fortune... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 3
144893 Do you think students today face more academic pressure than in... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 298
144892 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 1
144891 H ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 4
144890 What genre of movies or dramas do you enjoy? Why do you like... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 348
144889 speech ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-02 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04