¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever felt that painting takes too much time and effort?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-03-26 895

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It takes a lot of time and effort for all art, whether it's music or art.
As I said yesterday, I woke up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.
In fact, art was a good choice because sound does not harm others like music.
The work of drawing has been interesting for several months and all the members who worked with me have worked hard.
But as time passed, the members disappeared one by one, and I ended up alone.
At first, I could see my growth clearly through the picture.
After 6 months or so, I was continuing to paint a similar level.
I felt that raising my level one step required too much time and effort.
I thought that the reason why the members gave up art one by one was because of the same thoughts as me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, your writing beautifully captures the struggle of learning and the emotions that come with it. Additionally, your response was well-structured and conveyed a clear reflection on your artistic journey. Your ideas were easy to follow, but there were a few grammar adjustments needed for smoother readability. Pay close attention to word choices and sentence flow, especially when comparing concepts. I added more details to expand on your thoughts and included encouragement to remind you that hitting a plateau doesn¡¯t mean stopping. It means you¡¯re on the verge of a breakthrough. Great effort! Keep going, and remember that every great artist has felt this way at some point. 

~ T. Lia

It takes a lot of time and effort for all art, whether it's music or art.
>> It takes a lot of time and effort for all forms of art, whether it's music or visual art.

As I said yesterday, I woke up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.
>> As I said yesterday, I used to wake up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.

In fact, art was a good choice because sound does not harm others like music.
>> In fact, art was a good choice because, unlike music, it does not produce sound that could disturb others.

The work of drawing has been interesting for several months and all the members who worked with me have worked hard.
>> Drawing has been interesting for several months, and all the members who worked with me put in a lot of effort.

But as time passed, the members disappeared one by one, and I ended up alone.
>> However, as time passed, the members left one by one, and I ended up alone.

At first, I could see my growth clearly through the picture.
>> At first, I could see my progress clearly through my drawings.

After 6 months or so, I was continuing to paint a similar level.
>> After about six months, I found myself painting at a similar level.

I felt that raising my level one step required too much time and effort.
>> CORRECT

I thought that the reason why the members gave up art one by one was because of the same thoughts as me.
>> I thought the reason the members gave up art one by one was that they had the same thoughts as I did.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144416 About absence Àº*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 1
144415 what do you like most about June? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 517
144414 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 631
144413 What do you think companies could do to keep their staff from... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 2
144412 How do you feel about unexpected visitors? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 2
144411 What are some common gift ideas to bring to a housewarming... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-03 2
144410 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 0
144409 When is it difficult to decide? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 482
144408 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 3
144407 0602 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 0
144406 How would you feel if someone canceled on you at the last minute? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 534
144405 Which websites are popular among the younger generation? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 0
144404 Are there any challenges or concerns with early voting in Korea? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 2
144403 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 637
144402 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 1
144401 Homework ±è*¿î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 0
144400 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 1
144399 What can younger people learn from spending more time with older... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 740
144398 Do you prefer small gatherings or big celebrations? Why? Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 1026
144397 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-02 653

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04