¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever felt that painting takes too much time and effort?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-03-26 396

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It takes a lot of time and effort for all art, whether it's music or art.
As I said yesterday, I woke up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.
In fact, art was a good choice because sound does not harm others like music.
The work of drawing has been interesting for several months and all the members who worked with me have worked hard.
But as time passed, the members disappeared one by one, and I ended up alone.
At first, I could see my growth clearly through the picture.
After 6 months or so, I was continuing to paint a similar level.
I felt that raising my level one step required too much time and effort.
I thought that the reason why the members gave up art one by one was because of the same thoughts as me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, your writing beautifully captures the struggle of learning and the emotions that come with it. Additionally, your response was well-structured and conveyed a clear reflection on your artistic journey. Your ideas were easy to follow, but there were a few grammar adjustments needed for smoother readability. Pay close attention to word choices and sentence flow, especially when comparing concepts. I added more details to expand on your thoughts and included encouragement to remind you that hitting a plateau doesn¡¯t mean stopping. It means you¡¯re on the verge of a breakthrough. Great effort! Keep going, and remember that every great artist has felt this way at some point. 

~ T. Lia

It takes a lot of time and effort for all art, whether it's music or art.
>> It takes a lot of time and effort for all forms of art, whether it's music or visual art.

As I said yesterday, I woke up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.
>> As I said yesterday, I used to wake up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.

In fact, art was a good choice because sound does not harm others like music.
>> In fact, art was a good choice because, unlike music, it does not produce sound that could disturb others.

The work of drawing has been interesting for several months and all the members who worked with me have worked hard.
>> Drawing has been interesting for several months, and all the members who worked with me put in a lot of effort.

But as time passed, the members disappeared one by one, and I ended up alone.
>> However, as time passed, the members left one by one, and I ended up alone.

At first, I could see my growth clearly through the picture.
>> At first, I could see my progress clearly through my drawings.

After 6 months or so, I was continuing to paint a similar level.
>> After about six months, I found myself painting at a similar level.

I felt that raising my level one step required too much time and effort.
>> CORRECT

I thought that the reason why the members gave up art one by one was because of the same thoughts as me.
>> I thought the reason the members gave up art one by one was that they had the same thoughts as I did.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143070 3/14 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 1
143069 2025.03.14 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 591
143068 A foreign language ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 643
143067 How to avoid uncomfortable situation in office ±è*±æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 651
143066 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 2
143065 How do you recharge after socializing? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 545
143064 How much do you value your privacy ? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 2
143063 Which place in the world has the best night sky? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 687
143062 What are your thoughts on people who always check their weight? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 528
143061 Should the USA stand up for Ukraine? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 549
143060 Would you like to go to a big international event, such as the... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 2
143059 Have you ever experienced a situation that felt negative at... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-15 1
143058 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 1
143057 What are your happiest hometown memories? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 663
143056 Is Seoul the best city to live solo in Korea, or would it be... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 552
143055 What role does the media play in celebrity scandals? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 561
143054 hw ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 571
143053 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 506
143052 What food do you like to eat in a restaurant? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 1
143051 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 553

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04