¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2025-03-27 1153

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My home is on the 5th floor. I can see an elementary school right outside the window.
In summer, when the window is open, I can hear the kids playing.
It¡¯s a cheerful sound, but hearing it every day can feel like noise and it stresses me out.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isabel, your homework was well-structured and clearly expressed your thoughts. You did a great job describing your living situation and how the sounds from the school affect you. I made a small revision in the last sentence to improve the flow and make it sound more natural. Try to be mindful of transitions between ideas to ensure smooth readability. Keep up the great work, and I look forward to reading more of your homework responses.

~ T. Lia

My home is on the 5th floor. 
>> CORRECT

I can see an elementary school right outside the window.
>> CORRECT

In summer, when the window is open, I can hear the kids playing.
>> CORRECT

It¡¯s a cheerful sound, but hearing it every day can feel like noise and it stresses me out.
>> It¡¯s a cheerful sound, but hearing it every day can start to feel like noise, which stresses me out.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141283 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-02 1839
141282 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-02 2225
141281 I want tell you chole class schedule~ ¼Õ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-02 2
141280 How do you think we can keep our minds sharp as we get older?... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-12-02 2370
141279 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-02 2237
141278 29Nov2024 Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-02 2132
141277 Taiwanese culture ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-02 1787
141276 What\'s your favorite winter activity? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-02 2
141275 Page 59 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-02 0
141274 My toughest thing of experienced during my trip ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-12-02 1
141273 experiment ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-01 0
141272 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-01 2
141271 What are your thoughts on shopaholics? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-01 2974
141270 What are your thoughts on people who always move around or move... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-01 3007
141269 People get exercise while playing sports. Which sports are the... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-01 2
141268 What is your earliest childhood memory? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-01 0
141267 Did you have a lot of friends when you were a child? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-01 0
141266 Are people using dogs as fashion accessories? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-01 2
141265 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-29 2253
141264 What is more important to care for mental or physical health? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-29 2562

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04