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The homework for 26th March.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*È£
2025-03-27 416

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q : Do you think older people today have more freedom and opportunities compared to the past?

A : In my view, Korean older people have less freedom and opportunities compared to the past.
In the past, Koreans can live countryside because they can earn money in countryside.
However, nowadays, most Koreans are living Seoul and nearby places because we can`t take a job at countryside.
As a result of this situation, most Korean older people have to live in capital.
However, as i know, as people getting older, they want to live in countryside.
So, i think they have less freedom and opportunities compared to the past.
In the future, I hope we can work at home no matter where we live.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Eddy!

Your writing has improved a lot! Your sentences are getting longer, and you are structuring your thoughts clearly. I can see that you are thinking step by step, first explaining the past, then comparing it to the present, and finally giving your own thoughts about the future. That kind of structure makes your writing easy to follow.

It¡¯s also great to see you using transition words like however and as a result. These help connect your ideas smoothly. Keep building on this progress! If you continue to practice expressing your thoughts in more detail, your writing will become even stronger. Keep up the great work!

~Teacher Cathy

 

In my view, Korean older people have less freedom and opportunities compared to the past.

>>CORRECT

OR>>In my view, older people in Korean have less freedom and opportunities than in the past.

In the past, Koreans can live countryside because they can earn money in countryside.

>>In the past, Koreans could live in the countryside because they could earn money there.

However, nowadays, most Koreans are living Seoul and nearby places because we can`t take a job at countryside.

>>However, nowadays, most Koreans live in Seoul and nearby areas because they cannot find jobs in the countryside.

As a result of this situation, most Korean older people have to live in capital.

>>As a result, most older Koreans have to live in the capital.

However, as i know, as people getting older, they want to live in countryside.

>>However, as far as I know, people tend to want to live in the countryside as they get older.

So, i think they have less freedom and opportunities compared to the past.

>>CORRECT

OR>>So, I believe they have less freedom and opportunities than in the past.

In the future, I hope we can work at home no matter where we live.

>>CORRECT

OR>>In the future, I hope we can work from home regardless of where we live.

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