¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Camping!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿î
2025-03-31 978

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When i go to camping with my family. I saw fire bruises. It was very warm and little scaring. A few minutes later i and my younger sisters ate Marshmallow, Han River ramen and Jjondeugi.
It was very delicious. However burned to Marshmallow and Jjondeugi that is very difficult. Although the weather was cold, I spent happy day with my family.!!!




p.s teacher! My cold got worse, so was out of my voice , so i don¡¯t take today class.. sorry..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Chloe!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. You really did well! :)
~ T. Camille

When i go to camping with my family. I saw fire bruises. 
>> When I went camping with my family, I saw fire embers. 
It was very warm and little scaring. 
>> It was very warm and a little scary
A few minutes later i and my younger sisters ate Marshmallow, Han River ramen and Jjondeugi.
>> A few minutes later, my younger sisters and I ate Marshmallow, Han River ramen and Jjondeugi.
It was very delicious. 
>> CORRECT!
However burned to Marshmallow and Jjondeugi that is very difficult. 
>> However, I burned the Marshmallow and Jjondeugi because it was very difficult cooking it. 
Although the weather was cold, I spent happy day with my family!!!
>> CORRECT!




p.s teacher! My cold got worse, so was out of my voice , so i don¡¯t take today class.. sorry..
[That's okay, I hope you get well soon! ^^ Take good care of yourself! :) ~ T. Camille ]
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
145307 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 40
145306 Thankyou ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 1
145305 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 61
145304 I used all my vacation on entrance of science high school ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 1
145303 What are the risks of having a side hustle while working... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 44
145302 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 81
145301 why exams are important È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 48
145300 Hi , Caitlyn ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 56
145299 25.7.25 essay. ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 2
145298 What is your favorite relaxing indoor activity? ¼Û*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 56
145297 How do you show someone that they are special to you? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 1
145296 Why do you think sleepovers are less common in Korea compared to... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 1
145295 H ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 2
145294 ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 0
145293 Do you prefer living in an apartment or living in a house with a... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 51
145292 WhatWhat challenges might someone face when trying to ¡°do as... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 1
145291 lion ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 0
145290 keeping gifts you don\'t like or need ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 57
145289 Spontaneous trip ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-28 60
145288 homework1 ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-27 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04