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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Talk about the sport that you enjoyed when you were young.

작성자: 박*호
2025-04-02 1176

회원님의 영작문

I am from the countryside and when I was very young in the early 1960s, Korea was one of the poorest countries in the world, so there were hardly any sports facilities in my neighborhood or even at school.
So soccer (we call it football) was the only sport I could enjoy at that time.
We could play soccer anywhere as long as we had a ball.
We didn't need any other facilities than balls to play soccer.
And when I was about 10, one of my friends got a baseball equipment as a gift from a rich relative who lived in Seoul.
From then, we started to enjoy playing baseball.
Baseball was more fun than soccer.
When I was young, there were no sports I enjoyed other than soccer and baseball.
And when I came to Seoul in 1986 to enter the unversity, I was surprised to see so many sports facilities, including basketball, volleyball and tennis courts.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Soon Ho^^
Thank you for sharing.
At least, you still tried playing two sports. 
_T. SHAY^^
***
I am from the countryside and when I was very young in the early 1960s, Korea was one of the poorest countries in the world, so there were hardly any sports facilities in my neighborhood or even at school.
>>Correct
OR: I grew up in the countryside, and in the early 1960s, Korea was one of the poorest countries in the world. Because of this, there were almost no sports facilities in my neighborhood or at school.
So soccer (we call it football) was the only sport I could enjoy at that time.
>>Correct
OR: So the only sport I could enjoy at that time was soccer.
We could play soccer anywhere as long as we had a ball.
>>Correct
OR: With a ball in hand, any open space became our soccer field. 
We didn't need any other facilities than balls to play soccer.
>>Correct
OR: To play soccer, we required nothing more than a ball.
And when I was about 10, one of my friends got a baseball equipment as a gift from a rich relative who lived in Seoul.
>>Correct
OR: When I was about 10, a friend of mine got a baseball set as a gift from a rich relative in Seoul.
From then, we started to enjoy playing baseball.
>>From then on, we started to enjoy playing baseball.
OR: From that moment, we really got into playing baseball.
Baseball was more fun than soccer.
>>Correct
OR: We found baseball more fun than soccer.
When I was young, there were no sports I enjoyed other than soccer and baseball.
>>Correct
OR: When I was young, I only enjoyed soccer and baseball.
And when I came to Seoul in 1986 to enter the unversity, I was surprised to see so many sports facilities, including basketball, volleyball and tennis courts.
>>And when I came to Seoul in 1986 to enter the university, I was surprised to see so many sports facilities, including basketball, volleyball and tennis courts.
OR: Coming from the countryside, I was amazed when I arrived in Seoul to attend university in 1986 and saw so many sports facilities, including basketball, volleyball, and tennis courts.

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