¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2025-04-04 247

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are some reasons why privacy is important for you?

A: There are some reasons why privacy is important for me. First, I love my own free time that I can rest alone and I can fully get energy and heal my mind during the time. I often run out of my energy to maintain my relationship. So privacy is really important for me! And since I have some secrets that I want to hide from anyone, I don¡¯t want to reveal my diary or kakao talk.Sometimes I wrote my thoughts about my friends and my family. I can reduce stress by writing my honest emotions

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yumin

A very exciting day to you! Thank you so much in submitting your homework.

Keep practicing on your grammar and you'll see that you'll have improvements that you don't even notice at all. ^^

See you in our class! Sweet day!

-T.Jeny


There are some reasons why privacy is important for me. 
>>There are some reasons why privacy is important to me. 
First, I love my own free time that I can rest alone and I can fully get energy and heal my mind during the time.
>>First, I love my free time, when I can rest alone, gain full energy, and heal my mind.
 I often run out of my energy to maintain my relationship. 
>> I often run out of energy to maintain my relationship. 
So privacy is really important for me!
>>So privacy is really important to me!
 And since I have some secrets that I want to hide from anyone, I don¡¯t want to reveal my diary or kakao talk.
>>Correct
Sometimes I wrote my thoughts about my friends and my family. 
>>Correct
I can reduce stress by writing my honest emotions
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143782 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143781 The homework for 23rd April. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 126
143780 What would you do if you noticed something suspicious happening... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 0
143779 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 131
143778 ielts speaking p2,3_3 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143777 ielts speaking p2,3_2 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 0
143776 ielts speaking p2,3_1 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143775 0422 IELTS writing Task 2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143774 2025.04.23 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 120
143773 2025.04.22 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 201
143772 sweet food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143771 sweet ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 0
143770 Describe a famous person, such as an athlete, actor, or singer.... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 134
143769 Yes, I dance. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 178
143768 About how do I think of not having a child ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 5
143767 Do you think a planner helps you stay organized or simply gives... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143766 What are the advantages of being able to attend different... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143765 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 173
143764 Foreign construction worker\'s issues ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 179
143763 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 138

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04