¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2025-04-04 926

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are some reasons why privacy is important for you?

A: There are some reasons why privacy is important for me. First, I love my own free time that I can rest alone and I can fully get energy and heal my mind during the time. I often run out of my energy to maintain my relationship. So privacy is really important for me! And since I have some secrets that I want to hide from anyone, I don¡¯t want to reveal my diary or kakao talk.Sometimes I wrote my thoughts about my friends and my family. I can reduce stress by writing my honest emotions

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yumin

A very exciting day to you! Thank you so much in submitting your homework.

Keep practicing on your grammar and you'll see that you'll have improvements that you don't even notice at all. ^^

See you in our class! Sweet day!

-T.Jeny


There are some reasons why privacy is important for me. 
>>There are some reasons why privacy is important to me. 
First, I love my own free time that I can rest alone and I can fully get energy and heal my mind during the time.
>>First, I love my free time, when I can rest alone, gain full energy, and heal my mind.
 I often run out of my energy to maintain my relationship. 
>> I often run out of energy to maintain my relationship. 
So privacy is really important for me!
>>So privacy is really important to me!
 And since I have some secrets that I want to hide from anyone, I don¡¯t want to reveal my diary or kakao talk.
>>Correct
Sometimes I wrote my thoughts about my friends and my family. 
>>Correct
I can reduce stress by writing my honest emotions
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144933 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 188
144932 I don\'t like horror movie. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 172
144931 What are the benefits of playing sports? Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 175
144930 How does tourism help the local economy? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 216
144929 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 1
144928 2025.07.04 ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 210
144927 H ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 2
144926 overcome ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 1
144925 Problem solving ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 196
144924 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 179
144923 Homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 0
144922 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-07-04 160
144921 What are the possible causes for having a vice? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 0
144920 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 1
144919 Writing homework ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 208
144918 No, not all parents who feed their children junk food are... ¼Õ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 174
144917 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 176
144916 Who\'s the healthiest person you know? How do they maintain... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 195
144915 Have you ever felt that you knew some people the first time you... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 2
144914 Would winning the lottery change you? ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-07-03 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04