¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2025-04-04 325

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are some reasons why privacy is important for you?

A: There are some reasons why privacy is important for me. First, I love my own free time that I can rest alone and I can fully get energy and heal my mind during the time. I often run out of my energy to maintain my relationship. So privacy is really important for me! And since I have some secrets that I want to hide from anyone, I don¡¯t want to reveal my diary or kakao talk.Sometimes I wrote my thoughts about my friends and my family. I can reduce stress by writing my honest emotions

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yumin

A very exciting day to you! Thank you so much in submitting your homework.

Keep practicing on your grammar and you'll see that you'll have improvements that you don't even notice at all. ^^

See you in our class! Sweet day!

-T.Jeny


There are some reasons why privacy is important for me. 
>>There are some reasons why privacy is important to me. 
First, I love my own free time that I can rest alone and I can fully get energy and heal my mind during the time.
>>First, I love my free time, when I can rest alone, gain full energy, and heal my mind.
 I often run out of my energy to maintain my relationship. 
>> I often run out of energy to maintain my relationship. 
So privacy is really important for me!
>>So privacy is really important to me!
 And since I have some secrets that I want to hide from anyone, I don¡¯t want to reveal my diary or kakao talk.
>>Correct
Sometimes I wrote my thoughts about my friends and my family. 
>>Correct
I can reduce stress by writing my honest emotions
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143145 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 420
143144 Eariler reading ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 378
143143 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 382
143142 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143141 HOMEWORK 3/19 ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 420
143140 My favorite season is spring ±è*¿î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 384
143139 I¡®ve never played Tic-Tac-Toe game. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 321
143138 Which do you prefer, online shopping or in-person shopping? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 390
143137 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 355
143136 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 457
143135 1. What do you know about the Kleine-Levin syndrome (KLS), also... ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143134 What¡¯s the most exciting project you¡¯ve worked on so far? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 397
143133 What activities disrupt a healthy lifestyle? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 1
143132 Which form of transport do you like taking most? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 1
143131 team sports and team work_2 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143130 The homework for 18th March. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 446
143129 team sports and team work_1 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143128 2025.03.19 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 386
143127 grammar check Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 5
143126 grammar check Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04