¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How does God¡¯s love shape the way you see yourself and others?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-04-08 904

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As I believed in God, I became aware of God's heart.
Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out the mistakes of others accurately and gave him advice to move on a better way.
I was able to point out others' mistakes accurately, while generously passing over my mistakes that others don¡¯t know.
However, knowing the heart of God, I was able to point out my mistakes accurately and become tolerant of others' mistakes.
That seems to be how God looks at me and others.
God has waited generously for my mistakes, so I could do the same.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David. Your reflection is deeply heartfelt and meaningful. You¡¯ve done a beautiful job expressing how your faith has shaped your perspective on yourself and others. I can feel your sincerity and growth through your words. With just a few small grammar adjustments, your message becomes even clearer. Keep writing with this honesty and humility. Your heart truly shines through.

~ T. Lia

 As I believed in God, I became aware of God's heart.
>> CORRECT

Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out the mistakes of others accurately and gave him advice to move on a better way.
>> Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out others' mistakes accurately and gave them advice to move in a better direction.

I was able to point out others' mistakes accurately, while generously passing over my mistakes that others don¡¯t know.
>> I could point out others' mistakes accurately while overlooking my own mistakes that others didn¡¯t see.

However, knowing the heart of God, I was able to point out my mistakes accurately and become tolerant of others' mistakes.
>> CORRECT

That seems to be how God looks at me and others.
>> CORRECT

God has waited generously for my mistakes, so I could do the same
>> God has patiently waited through my mistakes, so I can do the same for others.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142689 Writing Exercise: How do you usually handle stress? Explain. È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1155
142688 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1058
142687 How do you adjust your routine when unexpected things happen? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1067
142686 Homework🙌🏻 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 960
142685 my first essay ¾ç*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 3
142684 2/21 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1
142683 Which place is the best place to go to see the cherry blossoms ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1020
142682 What body language seems uncomfortable to you? Why? ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 0
142681 Work and life balance in academies ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1094
142680 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 925
142679 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-24 1038
142678 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 1
142677 What activities with animals do you enjoy most? (walking,... ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 960
142676 How do you improve your mornings? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 987
142675 NK soldiers ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 826
142674 How frequently do you worry about how you look? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 7
142673 When i hear the word \'solos\'.. ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 1059
142672 What¡¯s a memory that means a lot to you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 1
142671 How do you deal with major changes in your company? ¼­*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-23 876
142670 What is a perfect weekend for you? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-02-22 930

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04