¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How does God¡¯s love shape the way you see yourself and others?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-04-08 961

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As I believed in God, I became aware of God's heart.
Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out the mistakes of others accurately and gave him advice to move on a better way.
I was able to point out others' mistakes accurately, while generously passing over my mistakes that others don¡¯t know.
However, knowing the heart of God, I was able to point out my mistakes accurately and become tolerant of others' mistakes.
That seems to be how God looks at me and others.
God has waited generously for my mistakes, so I could do the same.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David. Your reflection is deeply heartfelt and meaningful. You¡¯ve done a beautiful job expressing how your faith has shaped your perspective on yourself and others. I can feel your sincerity and growth through your words. With just a few small grammar adjustments, your message becomes even clearer. Keep writing with this honesty and humility. Your heart truly shines through.

~ T. Lia

 As I believed in God, I became aware of God's heart.
>> CORRECT

Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out the mistakes of others accurately and gave him advice to move on a better way.
>> Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out others' mistakes accurately and gave them advice to move in a better direction.

I was able to point out others' mistakes accurately, while generously passing over my mistakes that others don¡¯t know.
>> I could point out others' mistakes accurately while overlooking my own mistakes that others didn¡¯t see.

However, knowing the heart of God, I was able to point out my mistakes accurately and become tolerant of others' mistakes.
>> CORRECT

That seems to be how God looks at me and others.
>> CORRECT

God has waited generously for my mistakes, so I could do the same
>> God has patiently waited through my mistakes, so I can do the same for others.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142319 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1584
142318 Native language ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1565
142317 Is a bucket list necessary? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 3
142316 When was the last time you attended a wedding? Tell me something... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1364
142315 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1733
142314 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1613
142313 social media ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1520
142312 What kind of workmates do you want to work with? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1529
142311 What¡¯s the most common accident you have at home? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 3
142310 home work Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1515
142309 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1
142308 No, I don¡¯t have stuffed toys until now. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1528
142307 AKMU ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1
142306 I did my homework.^^ ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1709
142305 What¡¯s the most frustrating thing that happened to you recently? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1380
142304 In what situation do you see yourself being speechless? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1253
142303 What are the differences between small and large families? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 3
142302 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1402
142301 Artificial intelligence in solving global problems ±è*·É ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 3
142300 How did you feel about the weather during the Lunar New Year... ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-05 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04