¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How does God¡¯s love shape the way you see yourself and others?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-04-08 984

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As I believed in God, I became aware of God's heart.
Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out the mistakes of others accurately and gave him advice to move on a better way.
I was able to point out others' mistakes accurately, while generously passing over my mistakes that others don¡¯t know.
However, knowing the heart of God, I was able to point out my mistakes accurately and become tolerant of others' mistakes.
That seems to be how God looks at me and others.
God has waited generously for my mistakes, so I could do the same.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David. Your reflection is deeply heartfelt and meaningful. You¡¯ve done a beautiful job expressing how your faith has shaped your perspective on yourself and others. I can feel your sincerity and growth through your words. With just a few small grammar adjustments, your message becomes even clearer. Keep writing with this honesty and humility. Your heart truly shines through.

~ T. Lia

 As I believed in God, I became aware of God's heart.
>> CORRECT

Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out the mistakes of others accurately and gave him advice to move on a better way.
>> Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out others' mistakes accurately and gave them advice to move in a better direction.

I was able to point out others' mistakes accurately, while generously passing over my mistakes that others don¡¯t know.
>> I could point out others' mistakes accurately while overlooking my own mistakes that others didn¡¯t see.

However, knowing the heart of God, I was able to point out my mistakes accurately and become tolerant of others' mistakes.
>> CORRECT

That seems to be how God looks at me and others.
>> CORRECT

God has waited generously for my mistakes, so I could do the same
>> God has patiently waited through my mistakes, so I can do the same for others.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144525 Do you prefer guided tours or exploring on your own? Why? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 227
144524 Is being flexible an important skill in life? Why? Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 231
144523 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 259
144522 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 2
144521 homework ±Ç*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 3
144520 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 3
144519 Homework ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 1
144518 Can you share about the most memorable commercial you have ever... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 259
144517 What do you do if someone you trust asks you to do something... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 286
144516 How can companies protect their customers¡¯ data from being... ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 248
144515 Do you think that your country is changing rapidly? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 326
144514 procrastinate ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 1
144513 chores ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 1
144512 rapport ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 2
144511 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 262
144510 Tell me about your most recent job. ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 1
144509 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 283
144508 0609 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 0
144507 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-10 1
144506 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-09 410

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04