¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How does God¡¯s love shape the way you see yourself and others?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-04-08 947

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As I believed in God, I became aware of God's heart.
Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out the mistakes of others accurately and gave him advice to move on a better way.
I was able to point out others' mistakes accurately, while generously passing over my mistakes that others don¡¯t know.
However, knowing the heart of God, I was able to point out my mistakes accurately and become tolerant of others' mistakes.
That seems to be how God looks at me and others.
God has waited generously for my mistakes, so I could do the same.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David. Your reflection is deeply heartfelt and meaningful. You¡¯ve done a beautiful job expressing how your faith has shaped your perspective on yourself and others. I can feel your sincerity and growth through your words. With just a few small grammar adjustments, your message becomes even clearer. Keep writing with this honesty and humility. Your heart truly shines through.

~ T. Lia

 As I believed in God, I became aware of God's heart.
>> CORRECT

Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out the mistakes of others accurately and gave him advice to move on a better way.
>> Until I knew God's heart, I pointed out others' mistakes accurately and gave them advice to move in a better direction.

I was able to point out others' mistakes accurately, while generously passing over my mistakes that others don¡¯t know.
>> I could point out others' mistakes accurately while overlooking my own mistakes that others didn¡¯t see.

However, knowing the heart of God, I was able to point out my mistakes accurately and become tolerant of others' mistakes.
>> CORRECT

That seems to be how God looks at me and others.
>> CORRECT

God has waited generously for my mistakes, so I could do the same
>> God has patiently waited through my mistakes, so I can do the same for others.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144134 D4 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 782
144133 0515 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 0
144132 What are the disadvantages of aging? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 687
144131 for women, Why? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 650
144130 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 1
144129 What major changes did you have to make when moving from the... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 858
144128 soccer ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 0
144127 song ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 0
144126 how many days ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 0
144125 How do cultural differences affect closing deals in... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 0
144124 Our product follows global standards for connection and... ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 734
144123 what is something people often forget to be thankful for? ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-16 644
144122 Do you prefer shopping alone or with others? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 0
144121 How do you maintain your oral hygiene? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 863
144120 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 678
144119 Who in your life inspires you the most, and why? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 737
144118 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 2
144117 Should cyclists be reuired to take a safety course before riding... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 711
144116 Would you rather have a chill weekend or an active one? ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 2
144115 Do you think society views aging positively or negatively? Why? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 895

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04