¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Talk about the crime rate in the place where you live.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*È£
2025-04-10 747

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korea is known as one of the countries with good public security.
I heard that in the Philippines, like in the US, ordinary people are allowed to own guns. But In Korea, unlike in the Philippines, no one except police officers are allowed to own guns. And streets and apartments are well equipped with security systems, including surveillance cameras. For example, in Korean apartments, only residents and visitors with prior permission are allowed to enter. So, when a crime occurs, police officers immediately know.
In Korea, no one takes it even if you leave your cell phone at a cafe. And it is said that it is safe for women to walk on the streets alone in the middle of the night.
I'm in my late 50s, but I've never experienced crime in person. I only know about crime through the news.
I hope you will experience it in person when you visit Korea someday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Mr. Park^^
Thank you for sharing.
Please check your last sentence though.
It can be misunderstood.
I'm not sure if you're saying "you hope I experience crime when I visit Korea".
I know what you mean, but the way you wrote it in your sentences can be misunderstood as you wanting me to experience crime. 
You said it after saying that you didn't experience crime in person and that you only hear it through the news. 
It would've been better if you wrote that sentence after the sentence about women walking safely at midnight.
_T. SHAY^^
***

Korea is known as one of the countries with good public security.
>>Correct
OR: Korea is regarded as one of the safest countries in terms of public security.

I heard that in the Philippines, like in the US, ordinary people are allowed to own guns. 
>>Correct
OR: I heard that, just like in the U.S., owning guns is permitted for ordinary people in the Philippines.
But In Korea, unlike in the Philippines, no one except police officers are allowed to own guns. 
>>Correct
OR: Contrary to that, in Korea, only police officers are allowed to own guns.
And streets and apartments are well equipped with security systems, including surveillance cameras. 
>>Correct
OR: Security systems, including surveillance cameras, are commonly found in both the streets and apartments.

For example, in Korean apartments, only residents and visitors with prior permission are allowed to enter. 
>>Correct
OR: For instance, in Korean apartments, entry is restricted to residents and visitors with prior approval.
So, when a crime occurs, police officers immediately know.
>>Correct
OR: Therefore, police officers can quickly detect any criminal activity when it happens.

In Korea, no one takes it even if you leave your cell phone at a cafe. 
>>Correct
OR: In Korea, you can leave your cell phone on the cafe table without worrying of having it stolen.

And it is said that it is safe for women to walk on the streets alone in the middle of the night.
>>Correct
OR: They also say that women can safely walk on the streets alone at midnight.

I'm in my late 50s, but I've never experienced crime in person. 
>>Correct
OR: I'm in my late 50s, but I've never witnessed a crime.

I only know about crime through the news.
>>Correct
OR: I only hear about it through the news.

I hope you will experience it in person when you visit Korea someday.
>>I hope you experience it when you visit Korea someday.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143163 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-21 1
143162 Are you satisfied with the changes happening around you? ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 778
143161 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 0
143160 The homework for 19th March. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 878
143159 homework Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 728
143158 Please read this before the class ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 624
143157 What\'s special about Busan? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 725
143156 How can people convince you to believe something? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 1
143155 When is immigration helpful to a country and when is harmful? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 696
143154 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 532
143153 How do you encourage others to be kind? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 498
143152 2025.03.20 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 771
143151 How do you plan on preparing for the match? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 833
143150 Talk about the kinds of projects your company has. ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 685
143149 part 2 ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 789
143148 s Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 801
143147 Cockroach ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 674
143146 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 634
143145 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 720
143144 Eariler reading ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 759

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04