무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Talk about the crime rate in the place where you live.

작성자: 박*호
2025-04-10 841

회원님의 영작문

Korea is known as one of the countries with good public security.
I heard that in the Philippines, like in the US, ordinary people are allowed to own guns. But In Korea, unlike in the Philippines, no one except police officers are allowed to own guns. And streets and apartments are well equipped with security systems, including surveillance cameras. For example, in Korean apartments, only residents and visitors with prior permission are allowed to enter. So, when a crime occurs, police officers immediately know.
In Korea, no one takes it even if you leave your cell phone at a cafe. And it is said that it is safe for women to walk on the streets alone in the middle of the night.
I'm in my late 50s, but I've never experienced crime in person. I only know about crime through the news.
I hope you will experience it in person when you visit Korea someday.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Mr. Park^^
Thank you for sharing.
Please check your last sentence though.
It can be misunderstood.
I'm not sure if you're saying "you hope I experience crime when I visit Korea".
I know what you mean, but the way you wrote it in your sentences can be misunderstood as you wanting me to experience crime. 
You said it after saying that you didn't experience crime in person and that you only hear it through the news. 
It would've been better if you wrote that sentence after the sentence about women walking safely at midnight.
_T. SHAY^^
***
Korea is known as one of the countries with good public security.
>>Correct
OR: Korea is regarded as one of the safest countries in terms of public security.
I heard that in the Philippines, like in the US, ordinary people are allowed to own guns. 
>>Correct
OR: I heard that, just like in the U.S., owning guns is permitted for ordinary people in the Philippines.
But In Korea, unlike in the Philippines, no one except police officers are allowed to own guns. 
>>Correct
OR: Contrary to that, in Korea, only police officers are allowed to own guns.
And streets and apartments are well equipped with security systems, including surveillance cameras. 
>>Correct
OR: Security systems, including surveillance cameras, are commonly found in both the streets and apartments.
For example, in Korean apartments, only residents and visitors with prior permission are allowed to enter. 
>>Correct
OR: For instance, in Korean apartments, entry is restricted to residents and visitors with prior approval.
So, when a crime occurs, police officers immediately know.
>>Correct
OR: Therefore, police officers can quickly detect any criminal activity when it happens.
In Korea, no one takes it even if you leave your cell phone at a cafe. 
>>Correct
OR: In Korea, you can leave your cell phone on the cafe table without worrying of having it stolen.
And it is said that it is safe for women to walk on the streets alone in the middle of the night.
>>Correct
OR: They also say that women can safely walk on the streets alone at midnight.
I'm in my late 50s, but I've never experienced crime in person. 
>>Correct
OR: I'm in my late 50s, but I've never witnessed a crime.
I only know about crime through the news.
>>Correct
OR: I only hear about it through the news.
I hope you will experience it in person when you visit Korea someday.
>>I hope you experience it when you visit Korea someday.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
142470 The homework of 11th Fab. 조*호 완료 2025-02-12 1199
142469 Bugogi 김*우 완료 2025-02-12 2
142468 Inspiring and disappointing movies 홍*은 완료 2025-02-12 1359
142467 When I upset.. 홍*은 완료 2025-02-12 1374
142466 homework 이*민 완료 2025-02-12 1479
142465 What can the society/government do to ensure or strengthen... 문*현 완료 2025-02-12 1339
142464 Homework & Question 이*주 완료 2025-02-12 1233
142463 Homework 이*숙 완료 2025-02-12 1222
142462 What makes life beautiful? 송*자 완료 2025-02-12 1
142461 How do you measure your improvement in a specific field? 노*철 완료 2025-02-12 1361
142460 ping pong 민*정 완료 2025-02-12 1
142459 good citizen? 권*희 완료 2025-02-12 1430
142458 What is the strangest food you\'ve ever eaten ? 박*호 완료 2025-02-12 1398
142457 What’s the most generous offer you’ve ever made to someone? 임*미 완료 2025-02-12 1323
142456 2/11 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-02-12 1
142455 Gifts or offerings at Korean funerals 양*연 완료 2025-02-12 1270
142454 What role does technology play in modern tourism? 강*율 완료 2025-02-12 2
142453 homework 김*연 완료 2025-02-11 0
142452 Exercise in the gym or Outdoor exercise-Exercising in the gym is... 손*희 완료 2025-02-11 1611
142451 How would you describe your glasses to someone over the phone? 진*호 완료 2025-02-11 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]