¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Talk about the crime rate in the place where you live.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*È£
2025-04-10 847

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korea is known as one of the countries with good public security.
I heard that in the Philippines, like in the US, ordinary people are allowed to own guns. But In Korea, unlike in the Philippines, no one except police officers are allowed to own guns. And streets and apartments are well equipped with security systems, including surveillance cameras. For example, in Korean apartments, only residents and visitors with prior permission are allowed to enter. So, when a crime occurs, police officers immediately know.
In Korea, no one takes it even if you leave your cell phone at a cafe. And it is said that it is safe for women to walk on the streets alone in the middle of the night.
I'm in my late 50s, but I've never experienced crime in person. I only know about crime through the news.
I hope you will experience it in person when you visit Korea someday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Mr. Park^^
Thank you for sharing.
Please check your last sentence though.
It can be misunderstood.
I'm not sure if you're saying "you hope I experience crime when I visit Korea".
I know what you mean, but the way you wrote it in your sentences can be misunderstood as you wanting me to experience crime. 
You said it after saying that you didn't experience crime in person and that you only hear it through the news. 
It would've been better if you wrote that sentence after the sentence about women walking safely at midnight.
_T. SHAY^^
***

Korea is known as one of the countries with good public security.
>>Correct
OR: Korea is regarded as one of the safest countries in terms of public security.

I heard that in the Philippines, like in the US, ordinary people are allowed to own guns. 
>>Correct
OR: I heard that, just like in the U.S., owning guns is permitted for ordinary people in the Philippines.
But In Korea, unlike in the Philippines, no one except police officers are allowed to own guns. 
>>Correct
OR: Contrary to that, in Korea, only police officers are allowed to own guns.
And streets and apartments are well equipped with security systems, including surveillance cameras. 
>>Correct
OR: Security systems, including surveillance cameras, are commonly found in both the streets and apartments.

For example, in Korean apartments, only residents and visitors with prior permission are allowed to enter. 
>>Correct
OR: For instance, in Korean apartments, entry is restricted to residents and visitors with prior approval.
So, when a crime occurs, police officers immediately know.
>>Correct
OR: Therefore, police officers can quickly detect any criminal activity when it happens.

In Korea, no one takes it even if you leave your cell phone at a cafe. 
>>Correct
OR: In Korea, you can leave your cell phone on the cafe table without worrying of having it stolen.

And it is said that it is safe for women to walk on the streets alone in the middle of the night.
>>Correct
OR: They also say that women can safely walk on the streets alone at midnight.

I'm in my late 50s, but I've never experienced crime in person. 
>>Correct
OR: I'm in my late 50s, but I've never witnessed a crime.

I only know about crime through the news.
>>Correct
OR: I only hear about it through the news.

I hope you will experience it in person when you visit Korea someday.
>>I hope you experience it when you visit Korea someday.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142414 The attitudes toward work has been changed in Korea ±è*·É ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 0
142413 What kinds of personality traits do you hate? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1295
142412 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1
142411 Korean young people love to meet other people. Is going on a... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 2
142410 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1226
142409 What\'s the most memorable winter vacation you have had? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1485
142408 Which is more effective in expressing how you feel: Words or... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1271
142407 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1223
142406 Is there a piece of furniture in your home that holds a special... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1325
142405 Is coffee overpriced? How much do people pay for coffee in your... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1414
142404 Which do you think is worse? Ear pain or tooth pain? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1315
142403 The reason some people tend to spend a lot of money on their... ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1545
142402 Have you ever regretted refusing something? What happened? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1381
142401 big ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 0
142400 tool ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 0
142399 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1351
142398 Homework for February 05 À¯*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1
142397 Talk about the best experience you\'ve had at a restaurant. ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1520
142396 annoying greeting ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1
142395 What¡¯s the best part of your morning? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04