¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you feel when you see someone who is homeless or in need?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Á¤
2025-04-13 971

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I feel pitiful to them. I want to help them but I may get wrong with them. And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jenna,

You did a great job expressing your feelings in this writing. I can tell that you have a kind heart and truly care about people who are homeless or in need, and that is something to be proud of. You were honest about your thoughts and feelings, and that¡¯s very special. To make your writing even better, let me give you a few small tips. Instead of saying ¡°I feel pitiful to them,¡± it¡¯s more natural to say ¡°I feel sorry for them¡± or ¡°I feel sad for them.¡± Also, when you wrote, ¡°I want to help them but I may get wrong with them,¡± I understand what you mean — that you want to help but you¡¯re not sure how, or you¡¯re worried about doing something wrong. A clearer way to say this could be, ¡°I want to help them, but I¡¯m afraid I might make a mistake.¡± Lastly, when you said ¡°the homeless problem is so scared,¡± I think you meant it feels scary or difficult to fix. You could try saying, ¡°The homeless problem is hard to solve,¡± or ¡°It can feel scary sometimes.¡± Overall, I¡¯m really proud of you for trying to write about something so meaningful. Keep it up! You're improving with every sentence you write.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I feel pitiful to them.

>>I feel pity for them.

OR>>I feel sad for them.

I want to help them but I may get wrong with them.

>>I want to help them, but I¡¯m afraid I might make a mistake.

And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

>>I also think it's hard to help the homeless because it can feel scary sometimes.

 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143147 Cockroach ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 833
143146 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-03-20 804
143145 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 821
143144 Eariler reading ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 890
143143 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 823
143142 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143141 HOMEWORK 3/19 ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 876
143140 My favorite season is spring ±è*¿î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 778
143139 I¡®ve never played Tic-Tac-Toe game. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 640
143138 Which do you prefer, online shopping or in-person shopping? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 884
143137 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 767
143136 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 907
143135 1. What do you know about the Kleine-Levin syndrome (KLS), also... ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143134 What¡¯s the most exciting project you¡¯ve worked on so far? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 717
143133 What activities disrupt a healthy lifestyle? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 1
143132 Which form of transport do you like taking most? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 1
143131 team sports and team work_2 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143130 The homework for 18th March. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 842
143129 team sports and team work_1 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 2
143128 2025.03.19 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-19 807

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04