¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you feel when you see someone who is homeless or in need?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Á¤
2025-04-13 983

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I feel pitiful to them. I want to help them but I may get wrong with them. And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jenna,

You did a great job expressing your feelings in this writing. I can tell that you have a kind heart and truly care about people who are homeless or in need, and that is something to be proud of. You were honest about your thoughts and feelings, and that¡¯s very special. To make your writing even better, let me give you a few small tips. Instead of saying ¡°I feel pitiful to them,¡± it¡¯s more natural to say ¡°I feel sorry for them¡± or ¡°I feel sad for them.¡± Also, when you wrote, ¡°I want to help them but I may get wrong with them,¡± I understand what you mean — that you want to help but you¡¯re not sure how, or you¡¯re worried about doing something wrong. A clearer way to say this could be, ¡°I want to help them, but I¡¯m afraid I might make a mistake.¡± Lastly, when you said ¡°the homeless problem is so scared,¡± I think you meant it feels scary or difficult to fix. You could try saying, ¡°The homeless problem is hard to solve,¡± or ¡°It can feel scary sometimes.¡± Overall, I¡¯m really proud of you for trying to write about something so meaningful. Keep it up! You're improving with every sentence you write.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I feel pitiful to them.

>>I feel pity for them.

OR>>I feel sad for them.

I want to help them but I may get wrong with them.

>>I want to help them, but I¡¯m afraid I might make a mistake.

And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

>>I also think it's hard to help the homeless because it can feel scary sometimes.

 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142978 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 1
142977 What are the technical requirements for schools to adopt AI... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 1072
142976 If you could be anywhere right now where would you be? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 1000
142975 How to avoid too much talker ±è*±æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 877
142974 What are your thoughts on power interruptions? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 858
142973 What are your thoughts on the USA today? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 908
142972 What would you say is the biggest challenge for you moving and... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 848
142971 Do you think the influence of influencers is here to stay, or do... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 848
142970 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 873
142969 What are some famous snacks in Korea? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 909
142968 How do accents influence perceptions of a speaker\'s nationality... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 0
142967 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 897
142966 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 856
142965 years ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 1
142964 A or an ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 1
142963 galaxies ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 1
142962 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 0
142961 What will you do to a person who has a sleeping beauty disorder? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 2
142960 What is the most valuable thing you have ever borrowed? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 1
142959 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 989

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04