¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you feel when you see someone who is homeless or in need?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Á¤
2025-04-13 1033

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I feel pitiful to them. I want to help them but I may get wrong with them. And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jenna,

You did a great job expressing your feelings in this writing. I can tell that you have a kind heart and truly care about people who are homeless or in need, and that is something to be proud of. You were honest about your thoughts and feelings, and that¡¯s very special. To make your writing even better, let me give you a few small tips. Instead of saying ¡°I feel pitiful to them,¡± it¡¯s more natural to say ¡°I feel sorry for them¡± or ¡°I feel sad for them.¡± Also, when you wrote, ¡°I want to help them but I may get wrong with them,¡± I understand what you mean — that you want to help but you¡¯re not sure how, or you¡¯re worried about doing something wrong. A clearer way to say this could be, ¡°I want to help them, but I¡¯m afraid I might make a mistake.¡± Lastly, when you said ¡°the homeless problem is so scared,¡± I think you meant it feels scary or difficult to fix. You could try saying, ¡°The homeless problem is hard to solve,¡± or ¡°It can feel scary sometimes.¡± Overall, I¡¯m really proud of you for trying to write about something so meaningful. Keep it up! You're improving with every sentence you write.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I feel pitiful to them.

>>I feel pity for them.

OR>>I feel sad for them.

I want to help them but I may get wrong with them.

>>I want to help them, but I¡¯m afraid I might make a mistake.

And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

>>I also think it's hard to help the homeless because it can feel scary sometimes.

 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142866 Who among your family members loves eating the most? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 1
142865 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 1016
142864 wild bear ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 960
142863 2025.03.04 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 1093
142862 abandon ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 2
142861 What do you feel most people¡¯s lives are driven by? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 1112
142860 How do past experiences shape your appreciation of life? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 1038
142859 What other cuisines have you tried aside from Vietnamese cuisine... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 1086
142858 s Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 1128
142857 using technology during dinner Á¶*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 1128
142856 Why do you think some people believes in astrology? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 1124
142855 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 0
142854 How do you differentiate your job from a doctor when it comes to... ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 1
142853 Why do you think studying English is crucial for both personal... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 1181
142852 Why did many people suddenly become interested in growing plants... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 1021
142851 How does your family celebrate The March 1st Movement day. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 1048
142850 Are fast food franchises popular in your country? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 1115
142849 Why are most chefs fat? Why do you think of this phenomenon? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 1131
142848 Can you guess the social status of someone in your country from... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 1209
142847 The homework for March 3rd. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-04 984

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04