¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you feel when you see someone who is homeless or in need?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Á¤
2025-04-13 171

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I feel pitiful to them. I want to help them but I may get wrong with them. And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jenna,

You did a great job expressing your feelings in this writing. I can tell that you have a kind heart and truly care about people who are homeless or in need, and that is something to be proud of. You were honest about your thoughts and feelings, and that¡¯s very special. To make your writing even better, let me give you a few small tips. Instead of saying ¡°I feel pitiful to them,¡± it¡¯s more natural to say ¡°I feel sorry for them¡± or ¡°I feel sad for them.¡± Also, when you wrote, ¡°I want to help them but I may get wrong with them,¡± I understand what you mean — that you want to help but you¡¯re not sure how, or you¡¯re worried about doing something wrong. A clearer way to say this could be, ¡°I want to help them, but I¡¯m afraid I might make a mistake.¡± Lastly, when you said ¡°the homeless problem is so scared,¡± I think you meant it feels scary or difficult to fix. You could try saying, ¡°The homeless problem is hard to solve,¡± or ¡°It can feel scary sometimes.¡± Overall, I¡¯m really proud of you for trying to write about something so meaningful. Keep it up! You're improving with every sentence you write.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I feel pitiful to them.

>>I feel pity for them.

OR>>I feel sad for them.

I want to help them but I may get wrong with them.

>>I want to help them, but I¡¯m afraid I might make a mistake.

And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

>>I also think it's hard to help the homeless because it can feel scary sometimes.

 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143883 Aside from your hometown, where do you think is the best place... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 2
143882 How do you feel about the idea of a four-day work week? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 41
143881 1 Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 26
143880 The homework for 29th April. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 61
143879 2025.04.28 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 30
143878 0428 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 2
143877 healthy food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 2
143876 apppeciation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 3
143875 vegetarian ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 4
143874 If you could change one thing about the location of your work,... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 0
143873 The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Paris ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 0
143872 What products does your country export the most, and what new... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-29 1
143871 What¡¯s your favorite season of the year? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 0
143870 Do you think remote working will be more common in the future? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 36
143869 If you could learn something new (anything), what would it be... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 40
143868 What are the current national issues that the next president... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 51
143867 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 3
143866 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 40
143865 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 0
143864 Despite the side effects that come with it, is this weight-loss... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-28 29

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04