¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you feel when you see someone who is homeless or in need?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Á¤
2025-04-13 161

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I feel pitiful to them. I want to help them but I may get wrong with them. And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jenna,

You did a great job expressing your feelings in this writing. I can tell that you have a kind heart and truly care about people who are homeless or in need, and that is something to be proud of. You were honest about your thoughts and feelings, and that¡¯s very special. To make your writing even better, let me give you a few small tips. Instead of saying ¡°I feel pitiful to them,¡± it¡¯s more natural to say ¡°I feel sorry for them¡± or ¡°I feel sad for them.¡± Also, when you wrote, ¡°I want to help them but I may get wrong with them,¡± I understand what you mean — that you want to help but you¡¯re not sure how, or you¡¯re worried about doing something wrong. A clearer way to say this could be, ¡°I want to help them, but I¡¯m afraid I might make a mistake.¡± Lastly, when you said ¡°the homeless problem is so scared,¡± I think you meant it feels scary or difficult to fix. You could try saying, ¡°The homeless problem is hard to solve,¡± or ¡°It can feel scary sometimes.¡± Overall, I¡¯m really proud of you for trying to write about something so meaningful. Keep it up! You're improving with every sentence you write.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I feel pitiful to them.

>>I feel pity for them.

OR>>I feel sad for them.

I want to help them but I may get wrong with them.

>>I want to help them, but I¡¯m afraid I might make a mistake.

And I think it's hard to help homeless because the homeless problem is so scared.

>>I also think it's hard to help the homeless because it can feel scary sometimes.

 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143781 The homework for 23rd April. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 77
143780 What would you do if you noticed something suspicious happening... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 0
143779 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 58
143778 ielts speaking p2,3_3 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143777 ielts speaking p2,3_2 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 0
143776 ielts speaking p2,3_1 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143775 0422 IELTS writing Task 2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143774 2025.04.23 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 81
143773 2025.04.22 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 145
143772 sweet food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143771 sweet ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 0
143770 Describe a famous person, such as an athlete, actor, or singer.... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 79
143769 Yes, I dance. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 125
143768 About how do I think of not having a child ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 5
143767 Do you think a planner helps you stay organized or simply gives... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143766 What are the advantages of being able to attend different... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143765 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 101
143764 Foreign construction worker\'s issues ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 95
143763 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 99
143762 HOMEWORK FOR 04/21 Writing Task: What do you hope to achieve in... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04