무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

.

작성자: 김*인
2025-04-15 862

회원님의 영작문

I have considered running my own business in my imagination. There are various kinds of business that I've thought of. One was a mobile game business. When I was in elementary school, game name 'Bounce Ball' was very popular among my friends. It was about collecting stars on the map of each stage by moving yellow ball that bounces, and it seemed so simple to me. I thought it was far less developed compared to other delicate and sophisticated games. However, this definitely succeeded. At this point I thought creating a game that's very simple but addictive and attractive can be a great idea of business. If the game is simple, cost for producing and research would also be low that it will bring considerable profit. Therefore, I imagined when I was younger that this would be an efficient business item.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. WooIn! That's a great entrepreneurial instinct, especially from such a young age! Your observation about Bounce Ball is really insightful. Sometimes the most successful games aren’t the most complex, but the ones that hit the sweet spot of fun and simplicity.
-T. Sonny
I have considered running my own business in my imagination. 
>>Correct!
There are various kinds of business that I've thought of. 
>>There are various kinds of businesses that I’ve thought of.
One was a mobile game business.
>>One idea was starting a mobile game business.
When I was in elementary school, game name 'Bounce Ball' was very popular among my friends. 
>>When I was in elementary school, a game called Bounce Ball was very popular among my friends.
It was about collecting stars on the map of each stage by moving yellow ball that bounces, and it seemed so simple to me. 
>>It was about collecting stars on the map of each stage by moving a yellow ball that bounces, and it seemed so simple to me.
I thought it was far less developed compared to other delicate and sophisticated games. 
>>I thought it was far less developed compared to other, more delicate and sophisticated games.
However, this definitely succeeded. 
>>However, it definitely succeeded.
At this point I thought creating a game that's very simple but addictive and attractive can be a great idea of business. 
>>At that point, I thought that creating a game that’s very simple but addictive and attractive could be a great business idea.
If the game is simple, cost for producing and research would also be low that it will bring considerable profit. 
>>If the game is simple, the cost of production and research would also be low, which could lead to considerable profit.
Therefore, I imagined when I was younger that this would be an efficient business item.
>>Therefore, I imagined when I was younger that this would be an efficient business item.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
142414 The attitudes toward work has been changed in Korea 김*령 완료 2025-02-10 0
142413 What kinds of personality traits do you hate? 한*연 완료 2025-02-10 1403
142412 homework 김*우 완료 2025-02-10 1
142411 Korean young people love to meet other people. Is going on a... 이*희 완료 2025-02-10 2
142410 Homework 이*민 완료 2025-02-10 1321
142409 What\'s the most memorable winter vacation you have had? 이*태 완료 2025-02-10 1667
142408 Which is more effective in expressing how you feel: Words or... 이*태 완료 2025-02-10 1405
142407 Homework & Question 이*주 완료 2025-02-10 1331
142406 Is there a piece of furniture in your home that holds a special... 이*태 완료 2025-02-10 1404
142405 Is coffee overpriced? How much do people pay for coffee in your... 이*태 완료 2025-02-10 1566
142404 Which do you think is worse? Ear pain or tooth pain? 노*철 완료 2025-02-10 1409
142403 The reason some people tend to spend a lot of money on their... 한*원 완료 2025-02-10 1650
142402 Have you ever regretted refusing something? What happened? 임*미 완료 2025-02-10 1516
142401 big 민*정 완료 2025-02-10 0
142400 tool 민*정 완료 2025-02-10 0
142399 Homework 이*숙 완료 2025-02-10 1522
142398 Homework for February 05 유*기 완료 2025-02-10 1
142397 Talk about the best experience you\'ve had at a restaurant. 박*호 완료 2025-02-10 1695
142396 annoying greeting 김*호 완료 2025-02-10 1
142395 What’s the best part of your morning? 이*범 완료 2025-02-10 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]