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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

.

작성자: 김*인
2025-04-20 457

회원님의 영작문

My favorite Day6 song is 'Time of our life'. This is a song that let Day6 solidify their position as top band in Korea. It was not popular when it was first released, but it was gradually listened to by the public because the song itself was attractive. Speaking of which, my high school head resident belatedly got addicted to this song that 'Time of our life' was the wake up song for a few weeks consecutively.
On the other hand I was one of them who was attached to this song as soon as it was released, it was my profile music in chatting app for a long time. The melody and rhythms are intriguing and nice with no doubt. I like the short break of half a beat right before going into the chorus. Additionally, what I especially like about this song is the lyrics. I like the way they figuratively expressed the youth as filling a page of their own books of life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. WooIn! Love that song, too! It’s cool how you pointed out that the song didn’t gain attention right away, but it grew on people. That says something not just about the song, but also about your own taste. You noticed something special before it was widely appreciated.
-T. Sonny
My favorite Day6 song is 'Time of our life'. 
>>Correct!
This is a song that let Day6 solidify their position as top band in Korea. 
>>This song helped DAY6 solidify their position as one of the top bands in Korea.
It was not popular when it was first released, but it was gradually listened to by the public because the song itself was attractive. 
>>It wasn’t very popular when it was first released, but it gradually gained attention from the public because the song itself is so attractive.
Speaking of which, my high school head resident belatedly got addicted to this song that 'Time of our life' was the wake up song for a few weeks consecutively.
>>Speaking of which, my high school head resident belatedly got addicted to this song, and "Time of Our Life" became the wake-up song for a few weeks in a row.
On the other hand I was one of them who was attached to this song as soon as it was released, it was my profile music in chatting app for a long time. 
>>On the other hand, I was one of those who became attached to the song as soon as it was released; it was even my profile music on a chat app for a long time.
The melody and rhythms are intriguing and nice with no doubt. 
>>Correct!
OR. The melody and rhythms are undeniably intriguing and pleasant.
I like the short break of half a beat right before going into the chorus. 
>>I especially like the short break of half a beat right before the chorus.
Additionally, what I especially like about this song is the lyrics. 
>>Additionally, what I love about this song is the lyrics.
I like the way they figuratively expressed the youth as filling a page of their own books of life.
>>I like how they figuratively expressed youth as filling a page in their own book of life.
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