¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the two worst things that can happen without the sun?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-04-20 697

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If without the sun so earth is dark and very cold because sun gives light on earth and warmth.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your fourth corrected composition, Yale.  Please go over the revisions given below. See you again next class!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                      What are the two worst things that can happen without the sun?


If without the sun so earth is dark and very cold because sun gives light on earth and warmth.
>> Without the sun, the Earth would be dark and very cold because the sun provides light and warmth to the Earth.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142892 Do you like reading books or watching movies more? Why? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 895
142891 Why do you prefer dining in rather than taking out? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 1066
142890 if someone ask me to visit their country where I do not know ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 2
142889 2025.03.06 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 1127
142888 What do you think of food nowadays? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 3
142887 go shopping mall rather than take a hobby ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 5
142886 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 1034
142885 What\'s the most memorable experience you have with your dental... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 1075
142884 How do you feel about people who smoke near you? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 2
142883 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 993
142882 2025.03.05 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 1002
142881 What was the last piece of good news you heard ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 1037
142880 3/5 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 2
142879 Some friends you met on a trip want you to visit their country.... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 1023
142878 s Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-06 907
142877 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 0
142876 Do you think gender equality has improved in recent years? Why... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 2
142875 hello Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 866
142874 What kind of design or theme would you like your room to have? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 1024
142873 advice for someone to looking for true friends Á¶*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-05 995

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04