¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the two worst things that can happen without the sun?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-04-20 620

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If without the sun so earth is dark and very cold because sun gives light on earth and warmth.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your fourth corrected composition, Yale.  Please go over the revisions given below. See you again next class!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                      What are the two worst things that can happen without the sun?


If without the sun so earth is dark and very cold because sun gives light on earth and warmth.
>> Without the sun, the Earth would be dark and very cold because the sun provides light and warmth to the Earth.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144732 precaution ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 1
144731 mountain ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 1
144730 Hitting ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 1
144729 baby ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 168
144728 Should we preserve the traditions and practices during big... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 183
144727 Would you rather invite a friend to your house or visit your... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 185
144726 Is being flexible an important skill in life? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 209
144725 What¡¯s your favorite song? Why do you like it? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 170
144724 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 160
144723 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 162
144722 I like sweet potato tempura the most. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-06-22 178
144721 0622 IELTS writing Task1 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-22 0
144720 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-22 2
144719 What¡¯s one thing kids today will never understand about older... ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-22 0
144718 Which word would best define you as a friend? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-22 152
144717 What countries are you afraid of and why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-22 163
144716 How do you spend quality time with your family? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-22 0
144715 Is steak more of a comfort food or a celebration meal for you? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-22 0
144714 If you could organize a workshop, what topic would you choose? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-22 1
144713 How much time should someone spend on his hobby? À±*¿ø ÁøÇàÁß 2025-06-22 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04