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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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작성자: 박*호
2025-04-21 789

회원님의 영작문

There are many people I used to be close with, went to school with, or worked with that I no longer keep in touch with.
When I was busy, I didn't even think about it, but sometimes when I had time, I thought about reaching out them because I missed them. But most of the time, I didn't contact them. Because I was worried that I would be disappointed by their changed appearance.
There is a novel I like.
The main character in that novel lived in a boarding house in Seoul during his college years, and there was a kindergarten-aged girl in that house. He had a great time with that cute girl.
The main character met that girl again about 15 years later. The girl was now a college student. He was happy to see her again, but for some reason, the conversation was not enjoyable.
And then he met that girl again 20 years later.
Now, she was a married woman with two children, and her face was gloomy from the weight of life.
At that time, the main character regretted meeting her for the third time.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Mr. Park^^
Thank you for sharing.
I wonder what the author's purpose is for writing that story. 
_T. SHAY^^
***
There are many people I used to be close with, went to school with, or worked with that I no longer keep in touch with.
>>There are many people I used to be close with like people I went to school with or worked with that I no longer keep in touch with.
When I was busy, I didn't even think about it, but sometimes when I had time, I thought about reaching out them because I missed them. 
>>When I am busy, I don't even think about it, but sometimes when I have time, I think about reaching out to them because I miss them. 
OR: When I am busy, it doesn't cross my mind. However, when I am not busy, I think about sending them a message or calling them.
But most of the time, I didn't contact them. Because I was worried that I would be disappointed by their changed appearance.
>>But most of the time, I don't contact them because I am worried that I would be disappointed by their changed appearance.
There is a novel I like.
>>Correct
OR: There's this novel that I like.
The main character in that novel lived in a boarding house in Seoul during his college years, and there was a kindergarten-aged girl in that house. 
>>Correct
OR: The novel's protagonist lived in a boarding house in Seoul in his college years with a kindergarten girl.
He had a great time with that cute girl.
>>Correct
OR: He and that cute girl had a great time.
The main character met that girl again about 15 years later. 
>>Correct
OR: The protagonist and that girl met again after 15 years.
The girl was now a college student. 
>>The girl was already a college student.
He was happy to see her again, but for some reason, the conversation was not enjoyable.
>>Correct
OR: He was ecstatic to see her again, but for some reason, the conversation didn't go the way it used to.
And then he met that girl again 20 years later.
>>Correct
OR: After 20 years, they met again.
Now, she was a married woman with two children, and her face was gloomy from the weight of life.
>>Correct
OR: At that time, she was a married woman with two children, and the burdens of life showed clearly on her face. 
At that time, the main character regretted meeting her for the third time.
>>Correct
OR: The man regretted meeting her again for the third time. 

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