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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How can communities recover from the loss of cultural heritage?

작성자: 김*경
2025-04-21 499

회원님의 영작문

Maybe they need to find another livelihood to replace with burn-down cultural heritage which had contributed to communities as tour attractions. There are some exemplary cases that we can refer to overcoming the unexpected hardship on the community. For example, in the region where there were caves of jade, people got shocked after they couldn't find jade anymore. But people have developed those closed caves as a wine cellar and indoor yacht yard where thousands of tourists enjoy unique paddling every weekend. As the old saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining and difficulties can be a blessing in disguise If we don’t give in and keep challenging. The strong wind and waves may make the voyage difficult, but they can take the ship to its destination faster. I hope people in need can start with what comes easy with what they had and move on to the difficult ones.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve. Your response demonstrates thoughtful insights and a positive outlook on adapting to hardship. The examples you shared were creative and inspiring, especially the transformation of jade caves. You have a good grasp of metaphorical language and idiomatic expressions, which makes your writing engaging. Keep working on sentence structure and article usage (like “a,” “the”) to improve clarity. Overall, you're on the right track. Great job!

~ T. Lia

Maybe they need to find another livelihood to replace with burn-down cultural heritage which had contributed to communities as tour attractions.
>> Maybe they need to find another livelihood to replace the burned-down cultural heritage, which had contributed to communities as tourist attractions.

There are some exemplary cases that we can refer to overcoming the unexpected hardship on the community.
>> There are some exemplary cases we can refer to in overcoming unexpected hardships in the community.

For example, in the region where there were caves of jade, people got shocked after they couldn't find jade anymore.
>> For example, in the region where there were jade caves, people were shocked when they could no longer find jade.

But people have developed those closed caves as a wine cellar and indoor yacht yard where thousands of tourists enjoy unique paddling every weekend.
>> However, people developed those closed caves into wine cellars and indoor yacht yards, where thousands of tourists enjoy unique paddling every weekend.

As the old saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining and difficulties can be a blessing in disguise If we don’t give in and keep challenging.
>> As the old saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining, and difficulties can be a blessing in disguise if we don’t give in and keep facing challenges.

The strong wind and waves may make the voyage difficult, but they can take the ship to its destination faster.
>> CORRECT

I hope people in need can start with what comes easy with what they had and move on to the difficult ones.
>> I hope people in need can start with what comes easy using what they have, and gradually move on to more difficult tasks.
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