¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What lessons can be learned from South Korea\'s political crisis?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2025-04-22 720

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, politicians can learn a lesson about how powerful our people are and how reasonable and energetic they have been. They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others any more. Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what the other is saying. Second, they also need to know how much efforts and sacrifice it takes to blossom the democracy on this land where it used to be devastated by Korean civil war.
Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the constitution law so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term. We¡¯ve already seen the bad outcomes of a single 5-year term fully. Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in politics and economy. We need to do something before Korean economy will fall down any more. Who knows? this political chaos can be a blessing in disguise in the long term. Let us look on the bright side because there should be another exit if one door closes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve. You¡¯ve written a passionate and thoughtful reflection on political reform and national resilience. Your argument is clear, and your call for action is well-supported with powerful imagery and real concerns. Just watch out for small grammar points like article use, plural forms, and word order for smoothness. Still, your voice as a writer is compelling. Keep using it to spark meaningful discussions. Excellent effort!

~ T. Lia

First of all, politicians can learn a lesson about how powerful our people are and how reasonable and energetic they have been.
>> CORRECT

They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others any more.
>> They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others anymore.

Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what the other is saying.
>> Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what others are saying.

Second, they also need to know how much efforts and sacrifice it takes to blossom the democracy on this land where it used to be devastated by Korean civil war.
>> Second, they also need to understand how much effort and sacrifice it takes for democracy to blossom in this land, which was once devastated by the Korean Civil War.

Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the constitution law so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term.
>> Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the Constitution so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term.

We¡¯ve already seen the bad outcomes of a single 5-year term fully.
>> We¡¯ve already fully seen the negative outcomes of a single 5-year term.

Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in politics and economy.
>> Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in both politics and the economy.

We need to do something before Korean economy will fall down any more.
>> We need to take action before the Korean economy declines any further.

Who knows? this political chaos can be a blessing in disguise in the long term.
>> Who knows? This political chaos might be a blessing in disguise in the long term.

Let us look on the bright side because there should be another exit if one door closes.
>> Let¡¯s look on the bright side because there is always another door when one closes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142791 What characteristics have you inherited from your parents? Do... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-28 997
142790 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 0
142789 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1014
142788 homework ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1069
142787 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1069
142786 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1016
142785 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 2
142784 If you could wish for a wedding gift from a friend, what would... ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1081
142783 Drinking È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 979
142782 Absent ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 840
142781 What is a goal that you¡¯ve recently achieved? ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 937
142780 Why people can\'t stop working though they are satisfied with... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 3
142779 What would you do if you craved chicken in the middle of the... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 907
142778 What exercises do you think are not suitable for women? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 3
142777 homework Á¶*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1094
142776 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1016
142775 Do you think parties are fun even without alcohol? Why? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 870
142774 2025.02.27 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 784
142773 What i like to do on a sunny day. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 2
142772 What¡¯s the most unique food you¡¯ve tried? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04