¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What lessons can be learned from South Korea\'s political crisis?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2025-04-22 957

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, politicians can learn a lesson about how powerful our people are and how reasonable and energetic they have been. They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others any more. Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what the other is saying. Second, they also need to know how much efforts and sacrifice it takes to blossom the democracy on this land where it used to be devastated by Korean civil war.
Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the constitution law so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term. We¡¯ve already seen the bad outcomes of a single 5-year term fully. Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in politics and economy. We need to do something before Korean economy will fall down any more. Who knows? this political chaos can be a blessing in disguise in the long term. Let us look on the bright side because there should be another exit if one door closes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve. You¡¯ve written a passionate and thoughtful reflection on political reform and national resilience. Your argument is clear, and your call for action is well-supported with powerful imagery and real concerns. Just watch out for small grammar points like article use, plural forms, and word order for smoothness. Still, your voice as a writer is compelling. Keep using it to spark meaningful discussions. Excellent effort!

~ T. Lia

First of all, politicians can learn a lesson about how powerful our people are and how reasonable and energetic they have been.
>> CORRECT

They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others any more.
>> They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others anymore.

Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what the other is saying.
>> Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what others are saying.

Second, they also need to know how much efforts and sacrifice it takes to blossom the democracy on this land where it used to be devastated by Korean civil war.
>> Second, they also need to understand how much effort and sacrifice it takes for democracy to blossom in this land, which was once devastated by the Korean Civil War.

Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the constitution law so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term.
>> Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the Constitution so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term.

We¡¯ve already seen the bad outcomes of a single 5-year term fully.
>> We¡¯ve already fully seen the negative outcomes of a single 5-year term.

Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in politics and economy.
>> Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in both politics and the economy.

We need to do something before Korean economy will fall down any more.
>> We need to take action before the Korean economy declines any further.

Who knows? this political chaos can be a blessing in disguise in the long term.
>> Who knows? This political chaos might be a blessing in disguise in the long term.

Let us look on the bright side because there should be another exit if one door closes.
>> Let¡¯s look on the bright side because there is always another door when one closes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142275 Today , it.s too hard.!! Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1866
142274 Do you still have stuffed toys until now? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1
142273 Talk about your best memory from a holiday. ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 2199
142272 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1473
142271 Write about a special event, festival, holiday, or activity... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1463
142270 What tasks do you focus on when your schedule gets busy? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1568
142269 Is there a difference in the way Koreans celebrate the Korean... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1306
142268 The best part of being a pediatrician ±è*·É ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 3
142267 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1510
142266 new year ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 0
142265 elephant ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 0
142264 Niaragara ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 0
142263 why ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1374
142262 Talk about your most unforgettable vacation. ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1904
142261 2/3 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1
142260 Do you prefer talking on the phone or messaging? Why? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1
142259 What¡¯s something that always bothers you, no matter how hard... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1818
142258 What do you understand with \"revenge shopping\"? What form of... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 1528
142257 younger generations should~ continue old traditions vs create... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 2
142256 What¡¯s the most adorable or funny thing your late cat has ever... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04