¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What lessons can be learned from South Korea\'s political crisis?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2025-04-22 175

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, politicians can learn a lesson about how powerful our people are and how reasonable and energetic they have been. They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others any more. Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what the other is saying. Second, they also need to know how much efforts and sacrifice it takes to blossom the democracy on this land where it used to be devastated by Korean civil war.
Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the constitution law so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term. We¡¯ve already seen the bad outcomes of a single 5-year term fully. Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in politics and economy. We need to do something before Korean economy will fall down any more. Who knows? this political chaos can be a blessing in disguise in the long term. Let us look on the bright side because there should be another exit if one door closes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve. You¡¯ve written a passionate and thoughtful reflection on political reform and national resilience. Your argument is clear, and your call for action is well-supported with powerful imagery and real concerns. Just watch out for small grammar points like article use, plural forms, and word order for smoothness. Still, your voice as a writer is compelling. Keep using it to spark meaningful discussions. Excellent effort!

~ T. Lia

First of all, politicians can learn a lesson about how powerful our people are and how reasonable and energetic they have been.
>> CORRECT

They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others any more.
>> They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others anymore.

Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what the other is saying.
>> Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what others are saying.

Second, they also need to know how much efforts and sacrifice it takes to blossom the democracy on this land where it used to be devastated by Korean civil war.
>> Second, they also need to understand how much effort and sacrifice it takes for democracy to blossom in this land, which was once devastated by the Korean Civil War.

Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the constitution law so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term.
>> Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the Constitution so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term.

We¡¯ve already seen the bad outcomes of a single 5-year term fully.
>> We¡¯ve already fully seen the negative outcomes of a single 5-year term.

Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in politics and economy.
>> Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in both politics and the economy.

We need to do something before Korean economy will fall down any more.
>> We need to take action before the Korean economy declines any further.

Who knows? this political chaos can be a blessing in disguise in the long term.
>> Who knows? This political chaos might be a blessing in disguise in the long term.

Let us look on the bright side because there should be another exit if one door closes.
>> Let¡¯s look on the bright side because there is always another door when one closes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143382 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-04-02 266
143381 What do you enjoy most about family gatherings? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-04-02 3
143380 dairy ±è*³ë ¿Ï·á 2025-04-02 261
143379 2025.04.01 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-02 358
143378 Talk about the sport that you enjoyed when you were young. ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-02 239
143377 My bucketlis ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-04-02 221
143376 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 260
143375 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 1
143374 HOMEWORK 4/1 ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 227
143373 Tell me the most important lesson that your parents taught you. ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 6
143372 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 247
143371 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 227
143370 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 185
143369 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 272
143368 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 1
143367 What are the good points of working under rushed conditions? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 305
143366 What did you do last weekend? ÃÖ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 260
143365 What is the tallest building you have visited? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 2
143364 Do you think flexible working hours are beneficial? Why or why... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 2
143363 HOMEWORK: What thing will you not give to anyone? why? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-01 221

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04