¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What lessons can be learned from South Korea\'s political crisis?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2025-04-22 178

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, politicians can learn a lesson about how powerful our people are and how reasonable and energetic they have been. They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others any more. Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what the other is saying. Second, they also need to know how much efforts and sacrifice it takes to blossom the democracy on this land where it used to be devastated by Korean civil war.
Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the constitution law so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term. We¡¯ve already seen the bad outcomes of a single 5-year term fully. Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in politics and economy. We need to do something before Korean economy will fall down any more. Who knows? this political chaos can be a blessing in disguise in the long term. Let us look on the bright side because there should be another exit if one door closes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve. You¡¯ve written a passionate and thoughtful reflection on political reform and national resilience. Your argument is clear, and your call for action is well-supported with powerful imagery and real concerns. Just watch out for small grammar points like article use, plural forms, and word order for smoothness. Still, your voice as a writer is compelling. Keep using it to spark meaningful discussions. Excellent effort!

~ T. Lia

First of all, politicians can learn a lesson about how powerful our people are and how reasonable and energetic they have been.
>> CORRECT

They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others any more.
>> They shouldn¡¯t pretend to listen to others anymore.

Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what the other is saying.
>> Rather, they must truly and humbly pay attention to what others are saying.

Second, they also need to know how much efforts and sacrifice it takes to blossom the democracy on this land where it used to be devastated by Korean civil war.
>> Second, they also need to understand how much effort and sacrifice it takes for democracy to blossom in this land, which was once devastated by the Korean Civil War.

Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the constitution law so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term.
>> Third, it¡¯s high time for Koreans to amend the Constitution so that we can change the presidential system from a single 5-year term to a renewable 4-year term.

We¡¯ve already seen the bad outcomes of a single 5-year term fully.
>> We¡¯ve already fully seen the negative outcomes of a single 5-year term.

Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in politics and economy.
>> Now, we¡¯re at the end of our rope in both politics and the economy.

We need to do something before Korean economy will fall down any more.
>> We need to take action before the Korean economy declines any further.

Who knows? this political chaos can be a blessing in disguise in the long term.
>> Who knows? This political chaos might be a blessing in disguise in the long term.

Let us look on the bright side because there should be another exit if one door closes.
>> Let¡¯s look on the bright side because there is always another door when one closes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143302 Expressing sincere gratitude ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-30 1
143301 My new activity ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-29 245
143300 Sad music ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-29 274
143299 Can you describe your favorite singer or musician? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-29 0
143298 Do you think climate change is making wildfires worse? Why or... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-29 0
143297 Do you think younger generations in Korea have a different view... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-29 0
143296 What is one famous tourist attraction in another country that... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-29 0
143295 Is music important? Why or why not? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 255
143294 HOMEWORK 3/28 ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 291
143293 I think happiness a choice. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 246
143292 today Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 235
143291 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 250
143290 Can you trust a friend again after they have betrayed you? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 256
143289 Why do some people handle waiting better than others? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 268
143288 Talk about the best food that you\'ve eaten at a restaurant. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 321
143287 What would you do if you had more free time? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 240
143286 Do you think the Internet is the best invention? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 259
143285 2025.03.28 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 345
143284 Why do so many people love traveling? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 2
143283 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-28 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04