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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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작성자: 김*인
2025-04-23 103

회원님의 영작문

The phone I'm using now is my first iPhone, and I regret buying this. I used to be a stubborn Galaxy user before, but as I consistently watched most of my friends moving from Galaxy to iPhone, I got interested to it. At the same time, I felt like the color and design of iPhone was far more sophisticated. As a result, I impulsively bought one with liquid blue color, and regretting it since then.
I still like the design and the perception of the color, but I found out that iPhone is systemically incompatible to certain programs that are widely used in Korea. This minor problem bothered me when I had to immediately open a file on my phone.
I asked my friends who still like iPhone about this issue and the answer was that they were enduring it for the fancy design of the phone. I'm practicality pursuing people, so that I believe I won't buy it if I go back to the phone selecting moment.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. WooIn! It sounds like your priorities really align with practicality over aesthetics, especially if it's something that disrupts your workflow. A lot of people make the switch because of the sleek design, the social pressure, or just out of curiosity, and then discover the trade-offs afterward.
-T. Sonny
The phone I'm using now is my first iPhone, and I regret buying this.
>>Correct!
I used to be a stubborn Galaxy user before, but as I consistently watched most of my friends moving from Galaxy to iPhone, I got interested to it. 
>>I used to be a loyal Galaxy user, but as I saw more and more of my friends switching to iPhones, I became interested in it.
At the same time, I felt like the color and design of iPhone was far more sophisticated. 
>>At the same time, I felt that the iPhone's color and design were much more sophisticated.
As a result, I impulsively bought one with liquid blue color, and regretting it since then.
>>As a result, I impulsively bought one in light blue and have been regretting it ever since.
I still like the design and the perception of the color, but I found out that iPhone is systemically incompatible to certain programs that are widely used in Korea. 
>>I still like the design and the color, but I found that the iPhone is systemically incompatible with certain programs that are widely used in Korea.
This minor problem bothered me when I had to immediately open a file on my phone.
>>This minor issue bothered me when I needed to open a file immediately on my phone.
I asked my friends who still like iPhone about this issue and the answer was that they were enduring it for the fancy design of the phone. 
>>I asked my friends who still like their iPhones about this issue, and their response was that they were enduring it for the sake of the phone’s fancy design.
I'm practicality pursuing people, so that I believe I won't buy it if I go back to the phone selecting moment.
>>I’m someone who values practicality, so I believe I wouldn’t buy it if I could go back to the moment of choosing a phone.
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