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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Describe a time in your life when someone treated you unfairly.

작성자: 박*호
2025-04-24 221

회원님의 영작문

Everyone wants to be treated well by everyone. And I know very well that when people feel that I truely treat them, they will also treat me well.
I have tried to maintain good relationships with other people. However, there was a time about 15 years ago when I was treated unfairly by my boss at work and it made me sad.
At that time, I was relatively young compared to my colleagues, but I was the number one promotion in the workplace because of my good performance. Everyone expected me to be promoted, but my boss promoted someone else because I was young.
My colleagues comforted me, and I was able to get over my sadness in a short time.
Of course, after that boss retired, I was promoted right away. That's why I treat my juniors based on their abilities and performance, not their age. I hope that my older juniors don't complain that they are treated unfairly.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Mr. Park^^
Thank you for sharing.
_T. SHAY^^
***

Everyone wants to be treated well by everyone. 
>>Correct
OR: No one wants to be treated unfairly.
And I know very well that when people feel that I truely treat them, they will also treat me well.
>>And I know very well that when people feel that I truly treat them well, they will also treat me well.
I have tried to maintain good relationships with other people. 
>>Correct
OR: I always work hard to maintain good relationships with other people.
However, there was a time about 15 years ago when I was treated unfairly by my boss at work and it made me sad.
>>Correct
OR: However, I experienced being treated unfairly by my boss 15 years ago, which made me sad.

At that time, I was relatively young compared to my colleagues, but I was the number one promotion in the workplace because of my good performance. 
>>At that time, I was relatively young compared to my colleagues, but I was the number one candidate for promotion in the workplace because of my good performance. 
Everyone expected me to be promoted, but my boss promoted someone else because I was young.
>>Correct
OR: Everyone thought I would be promoted, but my boss promoted someone else instead.

My colleagues comforted me, and I was able to get over my sadness in a short time.
>>Correct
OR: My colleagues consoled me, and it helped me get over it in a short time.

Of course, after that boss retired, I was promoted right away. 
>>Correct
OR: Of course, when my boss retired, I got promoted right away.
That's why I treat my juniors based on their abilities and performance, not their age. 
>>Correct
OR: With that experience, I treat my juniors based on their abilities and performance, not their age.
I hope that my older juniors don't complain that they are treated unfairly.
>>Correct
OR: I hope my older juniors don't feel like they are mistreated. 

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