무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

.

작성자: 김*인
2025-04-27 722

회원님의 영작문

It seems to me that firefighters are not paid enough in Korea. They are definitely respected by public, but on the contrary treatments for them are very poor. As I know, the promoting system has some flaws that although they work as a firefighter for a long time, they are promoted much more slowly than other government employees, which means that their salaries would also rise slowly.
Apart from the systemic issue, firefighter should receive more salary since it is a job that risks own lives. They are sometimes sacrificed at the scene of fire, and even though they survive, their health is still impaired because of toxic smoke and extremely high temperature.
Therefore firefighters should be paid much more, corresponding with the high respect that they receive.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. WooIn! I agree with your point that the physical and emotional sacrifices they make should be better acknowledged through better wages. You effectively link respect and fair compensation in your conclusion, stressing that the respect firefighters receive should be reflected in their pay.
-T. Sonny
It seems to me that firefighters are not paid enough in Korea. 
>>Correct!
They are definitely respected by public, but on the contrary treatments for them are very poor. 
>>They are definitely respected by the public, but on the contrary, their treatment is very poor.
As I know, the promoting system has some flaws that although they work as a firefighter for a long time, they are promoted much more slowly than other government employees, which means that their salaries would also rise slowly.
>>As far as I know, the promotion system has some flaws. Although they work as firefighters for a long time, they are promoted much more slowly than other government employees, which means that their salaries rise slowly as well.
Apart from the systemic issue, firefighter should receive more salary since it is a job that risks own lives. 
>>Apart from this systemic issue, firefighters should receive higher salaries since it is a job that risks their own lives.
They are sometimes sacrificed at the scene of fire, and even though they survive, their health is still impaired because of toxic smoke and extremely high temperature.
>>They are sometimes sacrificed at the scene of a fire, and even if they survive, their health is still impaired because of toxic smoke and extremely high temperatures.
Therefore firefighters should be paid much more, corresponding with the high respect that they receive.
>>Therefore, firefighters should be paid much more, in line with the high respect they receive.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
142685 my first essay 양*주 완료 2025-02-24 3
142684 2/21 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-02-24 1
142683 Which place is the best place to go to see the cherry blossoms ? 박*호 완료 2025-02-24 1007
142682 What body language seems uncomfortable to you? Why? 이*중 완료 2025-02-24 0
142681 Work and life balance in academies 양*연 완료 2025-02-24 1075
142680 Homework 이*민 완료 2025-02-24 919
142679 . 김*인 완료 2025-02-24 1028
142678 Homework 김*우 완료 2025-02-23 1
142677 What activities with animals do you enjoy most? (walking,... 임*비 완료 2025-02-23 952
142676 How do you improve your mornings? 차*혁 완료 2025-02-23 979
142675 NK soldiers 권*희 완료 2025-02-23 823
142674 How frequently do you worry about how you look? 김*지 완료 2025-02-23 7
142673 When i hear the word \'solos\'.. 김*지 완료 2025-02-23 1056
142672 What’s a memory that means a lot to you? 김*규 완료 2025-02-23 1
142671 How do you deal with major changes in your company? 서*한 완료 2025-02-23 874
142670 What is a perfect weekend for you? 이*윤 완료 2025-02-22 919
142669 What form of exercise is the most exciting for you? 김*민 완료 2025-02-22 1052
142668 Why is it important to follow protocols? 송*자 완료 2025-02-22 1
142667 What are your main reasons or considerations/criteria when... 문*현 완료 2025-02-21 1308
142666 How much transparency should the media cover when reporting or... 문*현 완료 2025-02-21 895

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]