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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

.

작성자: 김*인
2025-05-07 125

회원님의 영작문

There are several problems cause by overtoursim.
First, private lives of people who live near the tour area can be intruded. The houses that native people live in may be a good landscape for tourists to take memorable photo. However in this process, some of the private lives are exposed inevitably and unintentionally, and the noise that made in the middle can also hamper the personal lives of native people. Moreover, I also heard that some tourists go into the house without permission to take better photo with interior parts as a background.
Second, original culture can be transformed or fade away. As the number of tourist increases and overtakes the number of native people, it is possible for the culture to change, because natives are not majority anymore. This can harm the value of the place with genuine culture, and eventually diminishes the virtue of that place for a tour.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this U In! 

There are several problems cause by overtoursim.
>>>  There are several problems caused by over-tourism.
First, private lives of people who live near the tour area can be intruded. 
>>>  correct
The houses that native people live in may be a good landscape for tourists to take memorable photo. 
>>>  The houses where/that local people live in may be a good landscape for tourists to take memorable photos. 
However in this process, some of the private lives are exposed inevitably and unintentionally, and the noise that made in the middle can also hamper the personal lives of native people. 
>>> However in this process, some of the private lives are exposed inevitably and unintentionally, and the noise created during the process can also hamper the personal lives of native/local people.  
Moreover, I also heard that some tourists go into the house without permission to take better photo with interior parts as a background.
>>>  Moreover, I heard that some tourists even go into the house without permission to take a better photo with the interior parts as a background.
Second, original culture can be transformed or fade away. 
>>> correct 
As the number of tourist increases and overtakes the number of native people, it is possible for the culture to change, because natives are not majority anymore. 
>>> As the number of tourists increases and overtakes the number of native people, it is possible for the culture to change, because natives are not the majority anymore.  
This can harm the value of the place with genuine culture, and eventually diminishes the virtue of that place for a tour.
>>>  correct 
>>> OR: This can harm the authenticity of the place with a genuine culture, and eventually diminishes the value of that place as a tourist spot.
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