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작성자: 김*인
2025-05-13 11

회원님의 영작문

I manage my money by using less money on trivial things. It's easy to spend money on small things because of the cheap price. I was also tolerant about spending little money on trivial things, but I found out that these kind of expanse can amount to pile in no time.
For example, there's a popular Korean winter snack called 'Bungeoppang' and its tasty smell always intrigues me every time I see them in the road. Because it was very cheap snack it was my habit to buy it whenever I wanted with no caution. As it was repeated, I could feel the money was escaping from my wallet faster than before and I figure out it was because I was spending almost price of a one meal on this snack.
Similar experiences happened to me frequently that I resolved to refrain from using money on minor things. I think this is one of the efficient ways to mange limited amount of money.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. WooIn! Well-said! That's something many people experience, but not everyone reflects on. The fact that you recognized this pattern and took steps to correct it shows a strong sense of self-awareness and maturity in managing money.
-T. Sonny
I manage my money by using less money on trivial things. 
>>I manage my money by spending less on trivial things.
It's easy to spend money on small things because of the cheap price. 
>>It's easy to spend money on small items because of their low price.
I was also tolerant about spending little money on trivial things, but I found out that these kind of expanse can amount to pile in no time.
>>I used to be tolerant of spending a little here and there on such things, but I eventually realized that these kinds of expenses can pile up in no time.
For example, there's a popular Korean winter snack called 'Bungeoppang' and its tasty smell always intrigues me every time I see them in the road. 
>>For example, there's a popular Korean winter snack called Bungeoppang, and its delicious smell always tempts me whenever I pass by a street vendor.
Because it was very cheap snack it was my habit to buy it whenever I wanted with no caution. 
>>Since it’s a cheap snack, I got into the habit of buying it whenever I wanted, without much thought.
As it was repeated, I could feel the money was escaping from my wallet faster than before and I figure out it was because I was spending almost price of a one meal on this snack.
>>But as this continued, I started to notice that money was leaving my wallet faster than before, and I realized it was because I was spending almost the cost of a full meal on this snack.
Similar experiences happened to me frequently that I resolved to refrain from using money on minor things. 
>>Similar experiences happened frequently, which led me to decide to cut back on spending money on minor things.
I think this is one of the efficient ways to mange limited amount of money.
>>I believe this is one of the most effective ways to manage a limited amount of money.
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