¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing in Korea.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-05-13 509

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The pickpockets no in the my country don't get pickpockets if leave the phone but my country have many bicycle thieves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Yale.  Please go over the revisions given below. See you tomorrow and have a good night's sleep!   


Cheers,
Jean~~





                              Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing in Korea.


The pickpockets no in the my country don't get pickpockets if leave the phone but my country have many bicycle thieves.
>>> There are no pickpockets in my country. You won¡¯t get pickpocketed if you leave your phone unattended, but my country does have many bicycle thieves.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144863 Homework ±Ç*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 2
144862 Describe the main problems that people face living in the modern... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 146
144861 Storing vegetables ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 96
144860 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 71
144859 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 1
144858 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-07-01 1
144857 Where is the best place to hang out with friends? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 97
144856 What are some ways companies contribute to helping society?... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 82
144855 What is the implication of having an aging population? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 67
144854 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 87
144853 Which among your goals have you already achieved? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 0
144852 ¤Ó¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 69
144851 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 1
144850 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 0
144849 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 1
144848 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 207
144847 How is Apple\'s expansion to other countries going to be... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 0
144846 Do you think your workplace provides enough safety training? Why... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 533
144845 Homework ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 3
144844 Writing task 2 ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-30 84

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04