¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing in Korea.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-05-13 500

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The pickpockets no in the my country don't get pickpockets if leave the phone but my country have many bicycle thieves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Yale.  Please go over the revisions given below. See you tomorrow and have a good night's sleep!   


Cheers,
Jean~~





                              Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing in Korea.


The pickpockets no in the my country don't get pickpockets if leave the phone but my country have many bicycle thieves.
>>> There are no pickpockets in my country. You won¡¯t get pickpocketed if you leave your phone unattended, but my country does have many bicycle thieves.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144764 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 103
144763 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-06-25 82
144762 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 1
144761 Who do you resemble in your family? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 81
144760 Do you think listening is more important than speaking in a... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 0
144759 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 97
144758 Who\'s currently the scariest man alive and Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 75
144757 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 86
144756 ½µÁ¦ ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 75
144755 How do the seasons affect your mood or energy levels? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 95
144754 What¡¯s the most recent thing you did that improved your mood? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 121
144753 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 121
144752 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 92
144751 The food of Jeonju ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 88
144750 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-06-24 110
144749 Can you give a rough forecast of Apple in South Korea nowadays? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 0
144748 Do you prefer taking pictures with a phone or a camera? Why? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 100
144747 What is your ideal house? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 104
144746 What is the implication of having an aging population? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 0
144745 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-06-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04