¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing in Korea.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-05-13 353

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The pickpockets no in the my country don't get pickpockets if leave the phone but my country have many bicycle thieves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Yale.  Please go over the revisions given below. See you tomorrow and have a good night's sleep!   


Cheers,
Jean~~





                              Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing in Korea.


The pickpockets no in the my country don't get pickpockets if leave the phone but my country have many bicycle thieves.
>>> There are no pickpockets in my country. You won¡¯t get pickpocketed if you leave your phone unattended, but my country does have many bicycle thieves.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144120 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 394
144119 Who in your life inspires you the most, and why? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 433
144118 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 2
144117 Should cyclists be reuired to take a safety course before riding... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 419
144116 Would you rather have a chill weekend or an active one? ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 2
144115 Do you think society views aging positively or negatively? Why? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 485
144114 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 411
144113 0514 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 0
144112 The homework for 15th May. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 478
144111 How do you feel nowadays if you receive a handmade gift? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 3
144110 You mentioned watching Les Miserables today in our class, what... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 457
144109 hw Àü*Çâ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 2
144108 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 434
144107 These days, I think many times about performance of colleagues ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-05-15 435
144106 Do you like shopping? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 1
144105 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 0
144104 In your view, is it possible to have both a fulfilling career... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 491
144103 Should car manufacturers be required to install alcohol... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 450
144102 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 414
144101 Can you tell me about an unforgettable thing that you have seen?... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 415

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04