¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing in Korea.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-05-13 451

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The pickpockets no in the my country don't get pickpockets if leave the phone but my country have many bicycle thieves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Yale.  Please go over the revisions given below. See you tomorrow and have a good night's sleep!   


Cheers,
Jean~~





                              Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing in Korea.


The pickpockets no in the my country don't get pickpockets if leave the phone but my country have many bicycle thieves.
>>> There are no pickpockets in my country. You won¡¯t get pickpocketed if you leave your phone unattended, but my country does have many bicycle thieves.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144086 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 536
144085 I prepare to set my CEO\'s interview with journalists ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 610
144084 what is your idea of a perfect weekend? ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 542
144083 D3 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 512
144082 Homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 1
144081 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-14 517
144080 Do we need to work to maintain friendships? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 0
144079 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 1
144078 Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 451
144077 What do you think of every time you visit the dentist? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 482
144076 Write about your trip to Seoul during the long holiday. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 522
144075 What\'s the most useful pet in the world? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 575
144074 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 501
144073 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 480
144072 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 539
144071 What are some differences between Korea and the philippines that... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 526
144070 What is some good news that changed your life? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 485
144069 Is having a cast-iron stomach always a good thing? Why or why... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 556
144068 What are the challenges you¡¯ve faced in helping your son purse... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 551
144067 0512 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04