¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing in Korea.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-05-13 639

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The pickpockets no in the my country don't get pickpockets if leave the phone but my country have many bicycle thieves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second corrected composition, Yale.  Please go over the revisions given below. See you tomorrow and have a good night's sleep!   


Cheers,
Jean~~





                              Are there pickpockets in your country? Write about pickpocketing in Korea.


The pickpockets no in the my country don't get pickpockets if leave the phone but my country have many bicycle thieves.
>>> There are no pickpockets in my country. You won¡¯t get pickpocketed if you leave your phone unattended, but my country does have many bicycle thieves.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143565 How does your hobby help you in your life? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 1
143564 How might this impeachment influence future presidential... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 979
143563 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 863
143562 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 0
143561 Did you enjoy your childhood? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 782
143560 Do you prefer planning where to go on dates, or do you like... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 2
143559 What is your favorite musical of all time, and what makes it... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 2
143558 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 851
143557 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 3
143556 Do you prefer working overtime for extra pay or keeping your... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 1
143555 0409 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 2
143554 Do you like purchasing items or goods ahead of time? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 749
143553 HOMEWORK FOR TODAY ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 878
143552 water ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 1
143551 shark ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 1
143550 I want ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 1
143549 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 3
143548 What is the most important change we can make to protect the... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 855
143547 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 952
143546 What kind of person do you want your child to become, and how... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-10 1031

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04