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Can you tell me about an unforgettable thing that you have seen? What made it unforgettable?

작성자: 이*윤
2025-05-14 462

회원님의 영작문

I can't forget seeing my younger brother who went to the army on vacation to com back home without telling anyone in his family as a surprise.
Because it was the most recent thing I experienced and I was so surprised that I couldn't forget it.
My younger brother went on vacation without telling me to surprise our family, but when he came back home, I was so surprised that I collapsed on the spot and cried a lot. Now I remember that day with a smile, but I was so shocked and it was the first time I experienced that, so it was more memorable.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi! 

Thank you for sharing this experience with me. 
I could only imagine the surprise you have felt, and I think it was really heartwarming since it is about your family. 
I believe that it is also a memorable experience for your brother. That was so lovely. ^^ 

~ Teacher Gina




I can't forget seeing my younger brother who went to the army on vacation to com back home without telling anyone in his family as a surprise.
>> I can't forget the moment my younger brother, who was in the army, came home on vacation without telling anyone as a surprise.

Because it was the most recent thing I experienced and I was so surprised that I couldn't forget it.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: It was such a recent and surprising experience that I can’t forget it.

My younger brother went on vacation without telling me to surprise our family, but when he came back home, I was so surprised that I collapsed on the spot and cried a lot. 
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: My younger brother went on vacation without telling me to surprise our family, and when he came home, I was so shocked that I collapsed and cried a lot.

Now I remember that day with a smile, but I was so shocked and it was the first time I experienced that, so it was more memorable.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Now I remember that day with a smile, but at the time, I was so shocked- it was my first time experiencing something like that, which made it even more memorable.
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