무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Should car manufacturers be required to install alcohol detection systems in all new vehicles?

작성자: 김*경
2025-05-14 639

회원님의 영작문

Drunk driving remains a leading cause of traffic fatalities. Over time, many people lost their lives due to alcohol-impaired driving incidents . Implementing alcohol detection technology could substantially reduce these numbers. Beyond saving lives, reducing alcohol-related crashes can lead to significant economic savings. However, getting information on drivers' behavior or physiological data raises questions about data privacy On top of that, Ensuring that detection systems accurately identify impairment without false positives is crucial. False readings could prevent sober drivers from operating their vehicles. Successful implementation of alcohol detection hinges on addressing privacy concerns, ensuring technological reliability, As regulatory bodies across the world may continue to develop and refine these mandates, collaboration between policymakers, manufacturers, and the public will be essential to achieve the desirable safety outcomes for monitoring drivers behind the wheel.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve,
Thank you for taking the time to answer this essay. I appreciate it a lot! :)
I really hope that this kind of technological advancement will be implemented worldwide soon. It will be a great help in decreasing the untimely fatalities on the road. 
- Teacher Elly~ 


Drunk driving remains a leading cause of traffic fatalities. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> Drunk driving remains one of the leading causes of traffic fatalities.

Over time, many people lost their lives due to alcohol-impaired driving incidents. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> Many people have died as a result of alcohol-impaired driving events.

Implementing alcohol detection technology could substantially reduce these numbers. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> These figures might be significantly decreased by putting alcohol detecting technologies into use.

Beyond saving lives, reducing alcohol-related crashes can lead to significant economic savings. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> Aside from saving lives, minimizing alcohol-related crashes can result in substantial economic benefits.

However, getting information on drivers' behavior or physiological data raises questions about data privacy 
>> CORRECT
OR >> However, obtaining physiological data or behavioral information about drivers raises concerns around data privacy.

On top of that, Ensuring that detection systems accurately identify impairment without false positives is crucial. 
>> On top of that, ensuring that detection systems accurately identify alcohol impairment without ruling it as a false positive is crucial. 

False readings could prevent sober drivers from operating their vehicles. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> False readings could prevent sober drivers from driving their vehicles. 

Successful implementation of alcohol detection hinges on addressing privacy concerns, ensuring technological reliability, As regulatory bodies across the world may continue to develop and refine these mandates, collaboration between policymakers, manufacturers, and the public will be essential to achieve the desirable safety outcomes for monitoring drivers behind the wheel.
>> The successful implementation of alcohol detection hinges on addressing privacy concerns and ensuring technological reliability. As regulatory bodies across the world may continue to develop and refine these mandates, collaboration between policymakers, manufacturers, and the public will be essential to achieve the desirable safety outcomes for monitoring drivers behind the wheel.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
143775 0422 IELTS writing Task 2 homework 송*유 완료 2025-04-23 1
143774 2025.04.23 homework! 이*준 완료 2025-04-23 727
143773 2025.04.22 homework! 이*준 완료 2025-04-23 999
143772 sweet food 민*정 완료 2025-04-23 1
143771 sweet 민*정 완료 2025-04-23 0
143770 Describe a famous person, such as an athlete, actor, or singer.... 박*호 완료 2025-04-23 727
143769 Yes, I dance. 유*빈 완료 2025-04-23 779
143768 About how do I think of not having a child 김*준 완료 2025-04-23 5
143767 Do you think a planner helps you stay organized or simply gives... 진*호 완료 2025-04-23 1
143766 What are the advantages of being able to attend different... 진*호 완료 2025-04-23 1
143765 Homework 김*님 완료 2025-04-23 709
143764 Foreign construction worker\'s issues 양*연 완료 2025-04-23 730
143763 ㅣ 조*희 완료 2025-04-23 632
143762 HOMEWORK FOR 04/21 Writing Task: What do you hope to achieve in... 임*지 완료 2025-04-23 1
143761 homework 이*민 완료 2025-04-23 631
143760 4/22 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-04-23 1
143759 . 김*인 완료 2025-04-23 652
143758 4/23 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-04-23 1
143757 What lessons can be learned from South Korea\'s political crisis? 김*경 완료 2025-04-22 636
143756 If you were a patient in South Korea during this strike, how... 김*경 완료 2025-04-22 801

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]