무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What major changes did you have to make when moving from the countryside to the city ?

작성자: 박*호
2025-05-16 1063

회원님의 영작문

I am from a very rural area and first came to Seoul in 1986 when I was 19 years old to study at university. It was my first time living away from my parents.
Unlike the countryside where I lived, Seoul has a lot of people, a lot of cars, and very complicated roads, so I sometimes got lost.
The cost of living was so high that I had to work part-time because the money my parents sent me wasn't enough. And I had a lot of culture shock at first. Because my dialect was different from the way my classmates in Seoul spoke, I was teased. At that time, I was an introvert, so it took me a long time to make friends. On the other hand, my friends in Seoul were outgoing, talked well, and were good at presenting in class.
Fortunately, later on, my friends understood me well and invited me to their homes, so I was able to adapt well to life in Seoul.
I graduated from college in 1990, and 35 years have passed since then, but I still regularly meet up with my college friends and talk about those days.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Soonho, thanks for sharing your journey during that time. It must have been so challenging to adjust, but due to your strong mentality and endurance, you were able to go through it and eventually made a good situation out of it. These experiences are like gold and are very nice to reminisce about as time passes by. By the way, very nice sentences and good structure as well!
~ T. Ezra

I am from a very rural area and first came to Seoul in 1986 when I was 19 years old to study at university. 
>> CORRECT
Or >> I come from a rural area and moved to Seoul in 1986 at the age of 19 to attend university. 
It was my first time living away from my parents.
>> CORRECT
Or >> This was my first experience living independently from my parents.
Unlike the countryside where I lived, Seoul has a lot of people, a lot of cars, and very complicated roads, so I sometimes got lost.
>> CORRECT
Or >> Unlike the countryside, Seoul was bustling with people, traffic, and complex streets, which often caused me to get lost.
The cost of living was so high that I had to work part-time because the money my parents sent me wasn't enough. 
>> CORRECT
Or >> Due to the high cost of living, I took a part-time job since the financial support from my parents was insufficient.
And I had a lot of culture shock at first. 
>> CORRECT
Or >> Additionally, I encountered culture shock.
Because my dialect was different from the way my classmates in Seoul spoke, I was teased. 
>> CORRECT
Or >> Because my dialect differed from that of my Seoul classmates, it led to some teasing.
At that time, I was an introvert, so it took me a long time to make friends. 
>> CORRECT
Or >> Being an introverted person, I found it difficult to make friends initially.
On the other hand, my friends in Seoul were outgoing, talked well, and were good at presenting in class.
>> CORRECT
Or >> In contrast, my friends in Seoul were sociable, confident speakers, and excelled at class presentations.
Fortunately, later on, my friends understood me well and invited me to their homes, so I was able to adapt well to life in Seoul.
>> CORRECT
Or >> But gradually, my classmates accepted me, invited me over, and I started to feel at home.
I graduated from college in 1990, and 35 years have passed since then, but I still regularly meet up with my college friends and talk about those days.
>> CORRECT
Or >> I graduated in 1990, and although 35 years have passed, I continue to keep in touch with my university friends and reminisce about those times.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
143186 My favorite activites for school. 김*운 완료 2025-03-22 846
143185 Excessive drinking 최*영 완료 2025-03-22 1036
143184 What does it mean for a government to \"respect the rights of... 권*진 완료 2025-03-22 2
143183 What Korean culture or tradition would you like to continue to... 한*원 완료 2025-03-22 1047
143182 What\'s your take on solo living becoming a norm? 문*현 완료 2025-03-22 1037
143181 Who are the people you can always trust? 이*희 완료 2025-03-21 938
143180 I’m curious about what the future society looks like. 유*빈 완료 2025-03-21 828
143179 What role can certification organizations play in combating... 문*현 완료 2025-03-21 1006
143178 What is the best way to learn a language? 서*아 완료 2025-03-21 4
143177 Should tourism become the biggest focus of the economy to build... 문*현 완료 2025-03-21 853
143176 Homework. 송*진 완료 2025-03-21 904
143175 Homework 이*민 완료 2025-03-21 937
143174 favorite hobby 이*연 완료 2025-03-21 918
143173 2025.03.21 homework! 이*준 완료 2025-03-21 847
143172 What have you lost while traveling? 이*태 완료 2025-03-21 920
143171 What is your favorite way to practice your English? 이*태 완료 2025-03-21 1237
143170 Who inspired you to become who you are now? 이*태 완료 2025-03-21 922
143169 Is technology advancing more rapidly than it did in the past? Do... 이*태 완료 2025-03-21 889
143168 Describe your friends. (general or specific - choose one friend... 박*호 완료 2025-03-21 846
143167 Describe a person who helps to protect the environment You... 김*은 완료 2025-03-21 903

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]