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D4 essay homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2025-05-16 393

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D4 essay homework

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Aiden! Good job for the practice today! Thanks for your essay too! Here's a constructive evaluation with specific comments and suggestions for improvement. I'll follow with a revised version at the end if you'd like.
 >>> TEACHER GEMMA

Q. Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discus both views and give your opinion.

 

While I agree that television (TV) can only function as entertainment, such as watching comic shows and talk shows, I personally believe that TV can lead in a better direction than another element likes books and newspapers. In this essay, I will explain why I believe this.

>>> CORRECT~!^^ GOOD PARAGRAPH!


One reason why some people say that TV is impractical for study. As more, sometimes comic program shows to slapstick violence used for laughs and unrealistic problem-solving that would never work in real life. For example, when a serious situation occurs in comic shows, the problem is solved with laughter or strange behavior. This is really bad for people who are just starting their social life.

REVISED: One reason some people believe that TV is impractical for studying is because many comedy programs rely on slapstick violence and unrealistic problem-solving for entertainment. For example, when a serious situation arises in a comedy show, it is often resolved through laughter or bizarre behavior rather than logical thinking. This can be harmful, especially for young viewers or those just beginning to build their social understanding, as it may give them the wrong idea about how to handle real-life problems.


However, I believe that TV has show important role. One key example is a lot of TV shows. Among Korean programs is teaching to student for them improve school grades. The show features professional instructors who specializing in college entrance exams, and they teach students who have concerns about their academic style. This is incredibly useful and very helpful for students with the same concerns.

>>> CORRECT~!^^ GOOD PARAGRAPH!


Another important reason is an experience. Sometimes they produce travel programs, which give an indirect experience to people who can¡¯t travel realistically. Out of the Korean travel show, there is a program that travels to countries on the board depending on the number of dice that are thrown like a game. After watching this program, anyone will be able to feel the experience of traveling to various countries.

>>> CORRECT~!^^ GOOD PARAGRAPH!


Due to these reasons, I believe that although television may not be useful for study, it solves to problem for study and helps to indirect experience.

REVISED: I believe that although television may not always be ideal for studying, it can support education and provide valuable indirect experiences.


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