무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is the best surprise you ever had?

작성자: 이*윤
2025-05-17 393

회원님의 영작문

There are several, but now I remember two.
One is about my birthday.
My birthday is August. When I went to school, I couldn't invite my friend to my birthday party because it was summer vacation. And when I was a university student, I had to go back to my dorm to prepare for the memester. So, I always felt sorry for my birthday.
But when I was in high school, my friends called me to an empty classroom and gave me surprise birthday party. I was surprised and I was happy that my friends congratulated me on my birthday.
The other is about my younger brother.
When he was in the army, he came back home for his vacation without telling our family.
When I saw him coming home, I was surprised, so I sat down on the floor, and I cried a lot. He didn't expected my reacation, smoothed me.
But I told him. "What a suprise vacation! It's good to surprise our family, but don't do this again. I almost died of a herat attack now."

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Yun!

This is such a beautiful and touching story. Your memories were not just written well, they were full of heart and honesty. I could truly feel how important these moments were to you. Your writing made me smile, especially when your brother surprised you. I could imagine you crying on the floor, overwhelmed with emotion. That kind of reaction shows how strong your family bond is, and how much you love each other.

Your birthday memory was also very special. Having a birthday in August during vacation time can feel lonely, so when your high school friends surprised you, it must have felt extra meaningful. You captured that moment so well. Your feelings were clear and sincere. You organized your ideas well, and your emotions made the writing shine.

Your voice is very warm, kind, and expressive. That is a gift. You are improving so well in English, and you’re not just using the language, you’re using it to connect with others emotionally. That is something special. Great job! Keep writing like this!

~Teacher Cathy

 

There are several, but now I remember two.

CORRECT

OR>> There have been a few memorable surprises in my life, but two in particular stand out.

One is about my birthday.

CORRECT

OR>> The first one was on my birthday.

My birthday is August.

>> My birthday is in August.

OR>> My birthday is in August, which usually falls during summer vacation.

When I went to school, I couldn't invite my friend to my birthday party because it was summer vacation.

>>When I was in school, I couldn’t invite my friends to my birthday party because it was during summer vacation.

OR>> When I was in school, I couldn’t invite friends to celebrate with me because everyone was on break.

And when I was a university student, I had to go back to my dorm to prepare for the memester.

>>When I was a university student, I had to go back to my dorm to prepare for the semester.

OR>> Even in university, I had to return to the dorm early to prepare for the new semester.

So, I always felt sorry for my birthday.

So I always felt sad about my birthday.

OR>> Because of that, I always felt a bit sad around my birthday.

But when I was in high school, my friends called me to an empty classroom and gave me surprise birthday party.

But when I was in high school, my friends called me to an empty classroom and threw me a surprise birthday party.

OR>>But one year, when I was in high school, my friends secretly planned a surprise party for me. They called me into an empty classroom, and when I walked in, they were all there, ready to celebrate.

 I was surprised and I was happy that my friends congratulated me on my birthday.

I was surprised and happy that my friends celebrated my birthday.

OR>> I was completely surprised, and so touched. It meant a lot to me that they remembered and made the effort to make my birthday special.

The other is about my younger brother.

CORRECT

OR>> The second surprise was from my younger brother.

When he was in the army, he came back home for his vacation without telling our family.

CORRECT

OR>> At the time, he was serving in the military. One day, during his vacation, he came home without telling anyone in advance.

When I saw him coming home, I was surprised, so I sat down on the floor, and I cried a lot.

When I saw him come home, I was so surprised that I sat down on the floor and cried a lot.

OR>> When I saw him walk through the door, I was so shocked that I dropped to the floor and started crying.

He didn't expected my reacation, smoothed me.

He didn’t expect my reaction and comforted me.

OR>>I had missed him so much. He didn’t expect such a strong reaction and tried to comfort me.

But I told him. "What a suprise vacation! It's good to surprise our family, but don't do this again. I almost died of a herat attack now."

But I told him, “What a surprise vacation! It’s nice to surprise our family, but don’t do this again, I almost had a heart attack!”

OR>> I told him, "What a surprise visit! It’s great to surprise the family, but don’t do that again. I almost had a heart attack!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
142682 What body language seems uncomfortable to you? Why? 이*중 완료 2025-02-24 0
142681 Work and life balance in academies 양*연 완료 2025-02-24 879
142680 Homework 이*민 완료 2025-02-24 808
142679 . 김*인 완료 2025-02-24 876
142678 Homework 김*우 완료 2025-02-23 1
142677 What activities with animals do you enjoy most? (walking,... 임*비 완료 2025-02-23 907
142676 How do you improve your mornings? 차*혁 완료 2025-02-23 850
142675 NK soldiers 권*희 완료 2025-02-23 768
142674 How frequently do you worry about how you look? 김*지 완료 2025-02-23 7
142673 When i hear the word \'solos\'.. 김*지 완료 2025-02-23 953
142672 What’s a memory that means a lot to you? 김*규 완료 2025-02-23 1
142671 How do you deal with major changes in your company? 서*한 완료 2025-02-23 806
142670 What is a perfect weekend for you? 이*윤 완료 2025-02-22 785
142669 What form of exercise is the most exciting for you? 김*민 완료 2025-02-22 886
142668 Why is it important to follow protocols? 송*자 완료 2025-02-22 1
142667 What are your main reasons or considerations/criteria when... 문*현 완료 2025-02-21 1136
142666 How much transparency should the media cover when reporting or... 문*현 완료 2025-02-21 803
142665 Unforgettable movies 홍*은 완료 2025-02-21 915
142664 Why we should not judge people just by first impression 김*우 완료 2025-02-21 1
142663 I don’t believe that whales can sing. 유*빈 완료 2025-02-21 1059

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]