무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you think are the main reasons some people still strongly oppose childbirth outside of marri

작성자: 김*경
2025-05-21 836

회원님의 영작문

There are several reasons for them to disagree with childbirth outside of marriage culturally, religiously, and socially. First, their opposition may come from its unconventional approach toward marriage. It can be viewed as the violation of long-standing tradition and custom. Second, it might be based on their strong religious beliefs. Many religions with Christianity being a prominent example uphold a traditional negativity toward having children out of marriage. Religion itself has inherent uncompromising stance toward out of the truth. Lastly, for children, they’d happier to live together blood-bonded parents and out of social stigma. As a father to look after three children, I believe my children can grow up peacefully and in an emotional stability under conventional family system made by marriage as our countless generations before us did.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve. Your response reveals a deep and personal connection to the topic, which makes your argument feel authentic and grounded. You’ve tackled a sensitive issue with a clear moral stance, supported by cultural, religious, and emotional reasoning. That kind of sincerity gives your writing real strength. There are just a few areas that could benefit from improved sentence structure and word choice to increase clarity and flow. Overall, your effort to combine logical points with personal experience is commendable. It shows maturity in both language and thinking. 

~ T. Lia

There are several reasons for them to disagree with childbirth outside of marriage culturally, religiously, and socially.
>> There are several cultural, religious, and social reasons why they may disagree with childbirth outside of marriage.

First, their opposition may come from its unconventional approach toward marriage.
>> CORRECT

It can be viewed as the violation of long-standing tradition and custom.
>> It can be viewed as a violation of long-standing traditions and customs.

Second, it might be based on their strong religious beliefs.
>> CORRECT

Many religions with Christianity being a prominent example uphold a traditional negativity toward having children out of marriage.
>> Many religions, with Christianity being a prominent example, traditionally oppose having children outside of marriage.

Religion itself has inherent uncompromising stance toward out of the truth.
>> Religion itself often holds an inherently uncompromising stance toward what it considers the truth.

Lastly, for children, they’d happier to live together blood-bonded parents and out of social stigma.
>> Lastly, children are generally happier living with their biological parents and free from social stigma.

As a father to look after three children, I believe my children can grow up peacefully and in an emotional stability under conventional family system made by marriage as our countless generations before us did.
>> As a father of three children, I believe they can grow up peacefully and with emotional stability within the conventional family system established through marriage, just as countless generations before us did.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
143231 What\'s the most exciting musical instrument to play?Why? 차*혁 완료 2025-03-25 1068
143230 What are the benefits of taking the work shuttle bus? 이*훈 완료 2025-03-25 823
143229 The homework for 24th March. 조*호 완료 2025-03-25 848
143228 2025.03.25 homework! 이*준 완료 2025-03-25 752
143227 How do you feel when you see an old friend after a long time? 노*철 완료 2025-03-25 741
143226 Can envy and jealousy ever be healthy or positive emotions? 최*연 완료 2025-03-25 824
143225 dress cordes 민*정 완료 2025-03-25 0
143224 What did you all talk about while having brunch? 노*철 완료 2025-03-25 760
143223 technological 민*정 완료 2025-03-25 0
143222 carpenter 민*정 완료 2025-03-25 1
143221 How do you give feedback to someone without hurting their... 유*기 완료 2025-03-25 815
143220 power of gambling 권*희 완료 2025-03-25 823
143219 If you travel back in time, to which point in time would you... 박*호 완료 2025-03-25 746
143218 What is your opinion about \'wild goose father\' concept? 한*원 완료 2025-03-25 950
143217 Do you think climate change is making wildfires worse? Why or... 권*진 완료 2025-03-25 3
143216 My challenge 최*영 완료 2025-03-24 846
143215 Do you know your own family tree? 한*연 완료 2025-03-24 989
143214 3/24 homework 윤*현 완료 2025-03-24 775
143213 Homework 김*님 완료 2025-03-24 682
143212 Have you ever tried climbing Halla Mountain? If yes, how was it?... 진*호 완료 2025-03-24 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]