무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Should children be allowed to use the internet freely? why? or why not?

작성자: 오*영
2025-05-23 300

회원님의 영작문

When I checked the this question I think in my son's case ,at first.
If I would imagine the situation after allowing to use internet freely for my son, it will be horrible.
These youth included my son don't have restrict judgement and they have curious a lot.
Unintentionally, they can take dangerous situations easily, like real crimes or bad news.
Honestly, It has many advantages of using the internet, and we cannot think of far from the virtual world anymore. But, they have to learn and grow their correct knowledge, first.
Therefore my answer is no, because their judgement is not ripe, yet.

Hello, Elly.
Finally, it is on Friday.
But, I don't know why I'm not excited today.
Anyway, I'll try my best at work, too, because next day is on Saturday.
I have a plan to go tracking with my dog and son to Kangwon-do.
There is far from here, but it will be fresh air, because the accommodation is in the middle of a forest.
Have a nice weekend.
See you in next class.
Thank you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Stella,
Thank you for taking the time to answer this essay. :)
I agree with your sentiment. The internet is a dangerous place, especially for kids if not used correctly.
So, I think it's good to let them use the internet, but with the adults' guidance and in moderation.


Wow! You have a lovely plan this weekend. I hope it won't be too hot tomorrow.
Have fun and make good memories. :)
- Teacher Elly~



When I checked the this question I think in my son's case ,at first.
>> When I checked this question, I first thought of my son's case

If I would imagine the situation after allowing to use internet freely for my son, it will be horrible.
>> If I imagine the situation after allowing my son to use the internet freely, it would be horrible.
OR >> If I were to imagine the situation after allowing my son to use the internet freely, it would be horrible.

These youth included my son don't have restrict judgement and they have curious a lot.
>> These young people, including my son, don't have strong judgment and are very curious.

Unintentionally, they can take dangerous situations easily, like real crimes or bad news.
>> Unintentionally, they can easily see or come across dangerous content, such as real crimes or bad news.
OR >> Unintentionally, they can easily encounter dangerous situations, such as real crimes or disturbing news.

Honestly, It has many advantages of using the internet, and we cannot think of far from the virtual world anymore. 
>> Honestly, there are many advantages to using the internet, and we can no longer imagine being disconnected from the virtual world
OR >> Honestly, there are many advantages to using the internet, and we can no longer imagine life without the virtual world.

But, they have to learn and grow their correct knowledge, first.
>> But they have to learn and develop accurate knowledge first.
OR >> However, young people must first develop the right knowledge and understanding.

Therefore my answer is no, because their judgement is not ripe, yet.
>> My answer is no, as their judgment is not yet ripe.
OR >> Therefore, my answer is no, because their judgment is not yet mature.

Hello, Elly.
>> CORRECT

Finally, it is on Friday.
>> Finally, it is Friday.

But, I don't know why I'm not excited today.
>> 
But I don't know why I'm not excited today

Anyway, I'll try my best at work, too, because next day is on Saturday.
>> Anyway, I'll try my best at work too, because tomorrow is Saturday.
OR >> Anyway, I'll try my best at work, too, because the next day is Saturday.

I have a plan to go tracking with my dog and son to Kangwon-do.
>> I have a plan to go trekking with my dog and son to Kangwon-do.

There is far from here, but it will be fresh air, because the accommodation is in the middle of a forest.
>> It is far from here, but there will be fresh air because the accommodation is in the middle of a forest.

Have a nice weekend.
>> CORRECT

See you in next class.
>> See you in the next class.

Thank you.
>> CORRECT
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
144387 What type of test is easy for you to answer? 송*진 완료 2025-06-01 0
144386 What is the most useful exercise you can think of? Explain. 차*혁 완료 2025-06-01 199
144385 How do you feel about traveling alone? 권*진 완료 2025-05-31 1
144384 Why are older adults often assumed to be uninterested in... 임*미 완료 2025-05-31 219
144383 Imagine that you are traveling to a foreign country and you need... 이*윤 완료 2025-05-31 241
144382 What type of leadership style do you think is most effective in... 오*영 완료 2025-05-30 256
144381 Homework 최*영 완료 2025-05-30 250
144380 What is the best local event or festival in your country? Why? 신*규 완료 2025-05-30 222
144379 조*희 완료 2025-05-30 241
144378 조*희 완료 2025-05-30 262
144377 Do you like attending festivals? Have you ever participated in a... 조*수 완료 2025-05-30 253
144376 Does believing in superstitions save you from bad luck? 이*희 완료 2025-05-30 247
144375 Homework 송*진 완료 2025-05-30 1
144374 D7 essay homework 김*수 완료 2025-05-30 419
144373 How would you feel if someone canceled on you at the last minute? 윤*인 완료 2025-05-30 0
144372 What are your greatest professional strengths? 오*소 완료 2025-05-30 0
144371 조*희 완료 2025-05-30 336
144370 homework 박*욱 완료 2025-05-30 251
144369 My favorite athlete is Usain St. Leo Bolt. 유*빈 완료 2025-05-30 254
144368 . 김*인 완료 2025-05-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04