¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: Writing Exercise: Is pollution a big problem in your city? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-05-23 30

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For the past couple of decades, air pollution has been a big problem in Korea including my hometown, Daejeon.
According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, replied that they have moaned under the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. It shows how strongly air pollution affects our daily life.
Especially in Daejeon, there are many factories on working in Daedeok industrial complex. It deteriorates nearby atmosphere.
To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve it. In my opinion, one effective way is to enact the laws which regulate the level of emissions of the factories by imposing an environmental tax to them. By doing so, we could make our community a more pleasant place to live.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
This is great effort.
You are showing the way you express yourslef.
Learn form your mistakes and apply what you learned.
Focus on the correct expressions to use in specific situations.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
For the past couple of decades, air pollution has been a big problem in Korea including my hometown, Daejeon.
>> Correct
According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, replied that they have moaned under the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. 
>> According to 'City and Natures', one of the most renowned academic journals in Korea, over 55% of the residents, who live in the country apart from the southern-west region, stated that they have suffered the inconvenience caused by having to wear a mask to avoid contaminated air. 
It shows how strongly air pollution affects our daily life.
>> Correct
Especially in Daejeon, there are many factories on working in Daedeok industrial complex. 
>> This is true especially in Daejeon where there are many factories  in Daedeok industrial complex. 
It deteriorates nearby atmosphere.
>> It causes the deterioration of the atmosphere.
To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve it. 
>> To overcome the problem, we should seek effective ways to improve our environment.
In my opinion, one effective way is to enact the laws which regulate the level of emissions of the factories by imposing an environmental tax to them. 
>> In my opinion, one effective way is to enact laws which regulate the level of emissions of factories by imposing an environmental tax on them. 
By doing so, we could make our community a more pleasant place to live.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144024 Are you a morning person? How do you feel when you wake up in... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-11 154
144023 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-11 2
144022 What are the benefits of being a reliable employee in your... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-10 0
144021 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 0
144020 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 0
144019 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 238
144018 0509 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 2
144017 What invention would you like to invent? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 176
144016 I did not receive 6.5 so I am sending new questionnaires... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 172
144015 I did not receive 6.5 so I am sending new questionnaires... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 140
144014 I did not receive 6.5 so I am sending new questionnaires... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 173
144013 parents affect their children ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 178
144012 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 116
144011 I am using 4 planner on my office desk. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 189
144010 Do you think getting along with other people is something you... ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 0
144009 Indi film ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 165
144008 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 118
144007 What is your best memory from Children¡¯s Day? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 1
144006 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 1
144005 Write about your trip to Seoul during the long holiday? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-08 157

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04